Simon, my boss's boss, just gave me a bottle of something and said thanks and that they've enjoyed having me... he clearly hasn't wandered past my PC as much as everyone else... I said I've really enjoyed it here so he said that if they need a temp in the future then he'll find out if I'm available. So theres more potential boredom to look forward to... Feels a bit weird now. Its not quite hit me that I don't have to come back here again. I am sure it will when we're in Ireland or when I'm back and completely skint. I do like most of the people here, I am just bored of being bored and sick of being patronised. At least if I came back I wouldn't have to the same rubbish job as now.
So I have my final 20 minutes to go and then I am off into town to meet Iain. There is only my supervisor and Adam left in the office from my old team. I imagine there won't be any sad goodbyes... blimey. The moment has finally come.
Friday, February 27, 2004
I have got such a killer headache at the moment. Not sure why ? possibly haven?t had enough liquid today but more than likely tiredness coupled with excitement and boredom and having stare at a computer all day. Only another two hours to go. Amazingly, my last day is going quicker than possibly any other day I have spent here. That is certainly very good news. Just hope there is someone about to sign my time sheet at 5pm or I?ll have to leave it on someone?s desk with a couple of envelopes and stamps and instructions on sending the top copies to the agency and the other one to me. I am prepared for all eventualities.
The new guy opposite who keeps talking to me and asking how old I am was showing me some of his photos from when he went travelling and although looking at other people?s photos is usually dull, he had some really good ones. He went on some kind of great white shark expedition and went under water in a cage and all that malarkey and has some amazing close ups of 13 foot long sharks. It?s amazing, I?d love to do it but I?d be absolutely petrified. There were loads of photos of him in various poses and outfits, gurning at the camera which amused me a fair bit. He?d also written short captions by the side of most of the snaps, which made me laugh too. Bear in mind I don?t really know this man and he is showing me his holiday snaps? He did mention going to the festival for a few days over the summer and my ears pricked up but he didn?t go into any more detail. He said something the other day about some comedian being in Australia when he was there, but not being able to get tickets. I should have been listening in more carefully, then I?d have known who he was talking about.
Sharon appears to be suffering from a pretty nasty hangover today, after telling me last night that there was no way she was going to drink much and be hung over today, when she has to write her essay and pack to come to London. That is always the way and is much the same as the time I went to H?s leaving do and had to drive up to Newcastle the next day? It?s also the reason that we?re not going to go into the Xfm breakfast show on the Friday when Sharon is over, cos we know there?s no way in the world we?ll get up in time after Ealing Live! the night before, and even if we did, there?s no way we?d last until the evening to go to Spank!
I bought more Clinique stuff today but only one thing and it was something I needed and was relatively cheap. Got a tinted lip balm. And while I was there the lady asked me if I knew much about the products so I mentioned that I had a fair few of them so she said I should come in one day next week for a free makeover, to see some of the cosmetics (which is probably a bad idea given I have a credit card, a will to spend money that?s not mine, and no job) so I might drag Sharon along for one if we get a spare moment. But after the disasterous makeover I had in Boots when I was about 17 I think I?ll take some make up remover and some cotton wool cos they made me look like a clown. I need to pop over to Canary Wharf at some point next week to get some money from Russell and I want Sharon to experience the excitement of the DLR.
The new guy opposite who keeps talking to me and asking how old I am was showing me some of his photos from when he went travelling and although looking at other people?s photos is usually dull, he had some really good ones. He went on some kind of great white shark expedition and went under water in a cage and all that malarkey and has some amazing close ups of 13 foot long sharks. It?s amazing, I?d love to do it but I?d be absolutely petrified. There were loads of photos of him in various poses and outfits, gurning at the camera which amused me a fair bit. He?d also written short captions by the side of most of the snaps, which made me laugh too. Bear in mind I don?t really know this man and he is showing me his holiday snaps? He did mention going to the festival for a few days over the summer and my ears pricked up but he didn?t go into any more detail. He said something the other day about some comedian being in Australia when he was there, but not being able to get tickets. I should have been listening in more carefully, then I?d have known who he was talking about.
Sharon appears to be suffering from a pretty nasty hangover today, after telling me last night that there was no way she was going to drink much and be hung over today, when she has to write her essay and pack to come to London. That is always the way and is much the same as the time I went to H?s leaving do and had to drive up to Newcastle the next day? It?s also the reason that we?re not going to go into the Xfm breakfast show on the Friday when Sharon is over, cos we know there?s no way in the world we?ll get up in time after Ealing Live! the night before, and even if we did, there?s no way we?d last until the evening to go to Spank!
I bought more Clinique stuff today but only one thing and it was something I needed and was relatively cheap. Got a tinted lip balm. And while I was there the lady asked me if I knew much about the products so I mentioned that I had a fair few of them so she said I should come in one day next week for a free makeover, to see some of the cosmetics (which is probably a bad idea given I have a credit card, a will to spend money that?s not mine, and no job) so I might drag Sharon along for one if we get a spare moment. But after the disasterous makeover I had in Boots when I was about 17 I think I?ll take some make up remover and some cotton wool cos they made me look like a clown. I need to pop over to Canary Wharf at some point next week to get some money from Russell and I want Sharon to experience the excitement of the DLR.
I don’t care if Monday’s dull, Tuesday, Wednesday boring too, Thursday’s pretty dull as well its Friday, my last day!! Splendid. At last the day has arrived and it is filled with mixed emotions. Going to miss my boys loads but also am looking forward to not being constantly bored to tears. Might buy them a box of miniature heroes or something to mark the occasion. And to celebrate my last day I am wearing an illegal top.. not only does it have writing on it, it is a punk stylee with scrawl and hidden obscenities all over it. Har har har. There is also a very sweet lady who works here called Gilly, I think she’s been here for years and she thought I had only graduated last year, bless her. Again, my youthful good looks fooling people again. She’s a bit of a funny one. Very strange fashion sense but then why the hell shouldn’t you wear whatever you want to wear at whatever age. As long as you’re not wearing stuff just to fit in which, believe me, she isn’t. She actually seems quite sad that I am going cos I don’t think that many people stop to talk to her or are even that nice to her. She thinks I’m funny cos I’m so laid back about getting another job. If only she knew the truth!
Today is going fairly quickly given that I have stuff to do and so far I have only been patronised once so far today for something that I didn’t do. Great. You’d think they’d give it a rest on my last day. So now I am definitely not buying anyone any chocolates. I am going to be bitter and twisted like Tariq in Eastenders but I’m not going to be changing my mind. So now its noon already, excellent – although I was about half an hour late this morning cos I pressed the snooze button a few too many times without realising it. I’ve not been out all week, saving myself and my money for the next month, and I am more exhausted than I have been for ages. Isn’t that always the way. Going out for a few sherberts tonight with Iain from uni and then home to record the Boosh off of BBC7. Five hours to go and counting.
Today is going fairly quickly given that I have stuff to do and so far I have only been patronised once so far today for something that I didn’t do. Great. You’d think they’d give it a rest on my last day. So now I am definitely not buying anyone any chocolates. I am going to be bitter and twisted like Tariq in Eastenders but I’m not going to be changing my mind. So now its noon already, excellent – although I was about half an hour late this morning cos I pressed the snooze button a few too many times without realising it. I’ve not been out all week, saving myself and my money for the next month, and I am more exhausted than I have been for ages. Isn’t that always the way. Going out for a few sherberts tonight with Iain from uni and then home to record the Boosh off of BBC7. Five hours to go and counting.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Had almost two hours for lunch and now it is 4pm and the day has flown by! The place we went to is right at the top of Cabot Hall and the escalators go up four floors but there is a sheer drop either side so I just about managed to get up but insisted on getting the very well hidden lift on the way back down. We wandered back to our building through the underground maze of Canary Wharf which took slightly longer than if we?d just gone outside into the open but they?ve only just linked the underground shopping centres and underground station together so it was a bit of a novelty. So there is an hour until home time. Nice. Bring on Friday? yay at last.
It is absolutely freezing in London today. Doesn’t help that my suit trousers are made with really thin material, and it is cold in the office again too. I’m sure I must be sitting under the air conditioning or something. I have a headache too. Moan moan moan. And I hate it here and I never wanted to work in a bank, where did I go wrong? Keep meaning to say that there is a really weird man who gets on my train at Elmers End and I have had the misfortune to sit next to him once. He really spreads out and reads his paper but has a strange tick. He’s like Mark Gatiss’s character in Nighty Nighty – really freaky and a potential pervert. Obviously it is very judgemental of me but you don’t want someone sitting next to you who squirms around all the time. It’s very unsettling at 8.15 in the morning.
I’ve been in touch with the beauty place in Warwick and have ended up blocking out pretty much the whole day for both therapists from 10am, except for one hour which has already been booked. So I do hope that no-one else in Warwick wants a manicure or anything on Saturday 3 April. So in total, between the five of us, we have 13 hours of bliss. I have narrowed my choices down to an Indian Head Massage, Luxury Manicure and Matis Vitale Facial, which in total will take 2 hours and 45 mins. I was going to have a pedicure as well but I think another hour might be pushing things a little, plus I have no cash – like that’s ever stopped me – and that little lot is going to cost me £68. It’s going to be great fun. I might call the hotel in Warwick that me and H stayed in back at the end of September cos they still haven’t sent me the shoes that I left there. Bastards. How dare they take my beautiful, scuffed comfy Clarks shoes hostage. I expected better service from a 4* hotel. So on the Sunday of our weekend we can use the heated indoor pool, sauna and steam room and gym at the Hilton. Actually scrap that, I’ve just discovered that Cadbury Chocolate World is a couple of miles from the hotel. My Uncle is getting the Turnbull golf trophy and has bags and bags of engraved “ball markers” whatever they might be – I imagine they mark golf balls in some way but I’m not sure why you’d want to do that or why you’d need so many bags of them. He’s got 4 caps made for the boys all with their names on as well and here is a picture of the cake I am ordering from M&S.
Golf Cake
Complete with bunker, water hazard and trees. Just the thing for anyone who’s planning to spend more time on the green. And if there's a number in your message for a birthday or anniversary we'll even put it on a flag. (Flag pole not edible).
33cm x 16cm, 20 portions
all butter sponge
Obviously it won’t say “Happy Birthday Simon” cos that’s not my dad’s name. It’ll say “Happy Birthday Keith” and will have the number 60 on the flag on the green. If he’s not sick of golf by the end of this weekend then I’ll be bloody amazed. I am trying to think of a non-golf related present. I did want to get him a Ferrari for a day but its too expensive and you have to go to certain places in the UK which kind of defeats the object. It’d be nice just to have one parked on the driveway for the day in full view of anyone walking past the house. My dad is very awkward to buy for. Especially now we’ve bought him every golf-related gadget and aid that exists.
Its 10am and I’m bored. Slightly later that yesterday but still bloody early on in the day. I am running out of things to organise. I got a phone call last night when I was on the train, from the Teacher Training Agency who wanted to badger me into becoming a maths teacher. It’s my own fault for asking for information last September. I am going to look into it properly this time. Apparently you get £6,000 for training and another £4,000 at the start of your second year of teaching. You can get a £4,000 student loan which will be paid off when you get a job as a teacher and they pay off any other outstanding student loans too – wish they’d told me that before, I’ve only got another year left on mine. And I’d earn at least £18k as a teacher but probably a hell of a lot more because there is a desperate shortage of maths teachers. I spose it would be a good skill to have, even if I only did it for a few years, but obviously its not something I’d chose to go into without serious consideration. It is quite tempting though… and those long summers that could be easily spent at the Festival without the need to resign… and of course there’s my great love of children. Can’t stand the buggers. They’d all be taller and look older than me. I’d be like Becca in Hollyoaks, I can see it now, except I wouldn’t wear such short skirts or be such a complete push over. In fact, it’d give me a valid reason to shout at children and raise my voice… hmm, maybe there is something to be said for teaching…
Golf Cake
Complete with bunker, water hazard and trees. Just the thing for anyone who’s planning to spend more time on the green. And if there's a number in your message for a birthday or anniversary we'll even put it on a flag. (Flag pole not edible).
33cm x 16cm, 20 portions
all butter sponge
Obviously it won’t say “Happy Birthday Simon” cos that’s not my dad’s name. It’ll say “Happy Birthday Keith” and will have the number 60 on the flag on the green. If he’s not sick of golf by the end of this weekend then I’ll be bloody amazed. I am trying to think of a non-golf related present. I did want to get him a Ferrari for a day but its too expensive and you have to go to certain places in the UK which kind of defeats the object. It’d be nice just to have one parked on the driveway for the day in full view of anyone walking past the house. My dad is very awkward to buy for. Especially now we’ve bought him every golf-related gadget and aid that exists.
Its 10am and I’m bored. Slightly later that yesterday but still bloody early on in the day. I am running out of things to organise. I got a phone call last night when I was on the train, from the Teacher Training Agency who wanted to badger me into becoming a maths teacher. It’s my own fault for asking for information last September. I am going to look into it properly this time. Apparently you get £6,000 for training and another £4,000 at the start of your second year of teaching. You can get a £4,000 student loan which will be paid off when you get a job as a teacher and they pay off any other outstanding student loans too – wish they’d told me that before, I’ve only got another year left on mine. And I’d earn at least £18k as a teacher but probably a hell of a lot more because there is a desperate shortage of maths teachers. I spose it would be a good skill to have, even if I only did it for a few years, but obviously its not something I’d chose to go into without serious consideration. It is quite tempting though… and those long summers that could be easily spent at the Festival without the need to resign… and of course there’s my great love of children. Can’t stand the buggers. They’d all be taller and look older than me. I’d be like Becca in Hollyoaks, I can see it now, except I wouldn’t wear such short skirts or be such a complete push over. In fact, it’d give me a valid reason to shout at children and raise my voice… hmm, maybe there is something to be said for teaching…
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Its 3.46pm and I have hit a wall. I am deliberately not doing the thing that I was patronisingly asked to do yesterday cos I should be able to get away with not doing it again before I leave, and I am taking a stand against being patronised. I will just smile and say I forgot if anyone asks. Surely they are getting fed up with patronising me by now. I am sure things will start looking up a bit once we hit 4pm and there is less than an hour until my escape. Then I have one more day of wearing smart clothes, although I?ll probably wear my wide-legged pin-stripe trousers which aren?t really that smart? then its black cords day. And then I have no idea when my suit will next see the light of day. Hooray!! No plans again for tonight ? I should be able to go on my stepper seeings we?ve heard about the David Gray gig and we are temporarily over our excitement so won?t need to be on the phone *all* night. Might put my suitcase in the corner of my room and start throwing things into it. Things to take to Ireland of course. Otherwise it?d be a bit pointless. Need to line up another couple of interviews and then we are all done. One for Sunday afternoon/early evening and another for Thursday afternoon before Ealing Live! Right, its 4.03pm.
The guy opposite me asked me how old I am again this afternoon. I wish he?d stop making me say it out loud. Then he asked if he had already asked me that so I told him he had. Then he said ?but its just you look much younger?. Which is nice of him but also very embarrassing. Probably cos I have no wrinkles ? not even laughter lines ? and I sit in silence all day and disappear at 5pm without saying goodbye to anyone. Two more days to go?
'Future workers will have 19 jobs'
Workers of the future will have 19 different jobs in their lifetime as people increasingly change careers, according to a new report.
I don?t know about workers of the future but I?ve already clocked six proper jobs since leaving university, but I had another six during and before university. I worked in Boots from the age of 16 til about 19 and then in the summer after my first year at uni I worked in the Greyhound pub in Bromley, which is where I met Caireen. The following summer I earnt a fortune working in the Woolwich Conversion Office doing not that much really but made loads of friends, worked seven days a week and didn?t pay tax. Then I worked in a couple of pubs in Nottingham, the best being The Horn In Hand (now The Speakeasy) which is part of the Scream chain. During one of the holidays I worked in a stuff accountancy department of a Paper Merchants (oh if only I knew then what I know now) doing data entry which was dull as. So I?m well on my way to being a worker of ?the future?.
In case you are wondering what this Passport business is that I keep harping on about, take a look *here* and then everything will become clear.
Workers of the future will have 19 different jobs in their lifetime as people increasingly change careers, according to a new report.
I don?t know about workers of the future but I?ve already clocked six proper jobs since leaving university, but I had another six during and before university. I worked in Boots from the age of 16 til about 19 and then in the summer after my first year at uni I worked in the Greyhound pub in Bromley, which is where I met Caireen. The following summer I earnt a fortune working in the Woolwich Conversion Office doing not that much really but made loads of friends, worked seven days a week and didn?t pay tax. Then I worked in a couple of pubs in Nottingham, the best being The Horn In Hand (now The Speakeasy) which is part of the Scream chain. During one of the holidays I worked in a stuff accountancy department of a Paper Merchants (oh if only I knew then what I know now) doing data entry which was dull as. So I?m well on my way to being a worker of ?the future?.
In case you are wondering what this Passport business is that I keep harping on about, take a look *here* and then everything will become clear.
From the BBC News site… bloodyhell. It would have been like something from off of the movies. How scary.
* Earth almost put on impact alert *
Astronomers reveal how they came within minutes of alerting the world to a potential asteroid strike last month.
Actually, I have just read the story now and it seems the scientists only calculated a 25% chance of the asteroid hitting the earth and even then couldn’t analyse the trajectory to pinpoint where the 30m wide rock would land other than specifying the Northern Hemisphere. It wouldn’t have wiped out the planet but would apparently have caused more devastation than September 11. It would make quite a short and ultimately dull and uneventful film. They didn’t even call the President. What a big bunch of panic monkeys.
It’s 10.37am now. Hour and a half until lunch. Bored already but Sharon is up and about and sending me the odd email. Making a list of things to remember to take to Ireland which at this stage is totally unnecessary but it is something to do. 11.18am now. Just think next week I will look back at this week and it will all be over. Just two more days to get through after this one. Thursday and Friday. Going out for lunch with my old team for lunch tomorrow so that’ll be nice, then I can go home and watch the brilliant “Darkplace” and on Friday I treat myself to a yummy ham and cheese croissant and go home and sit in amazement watching “Mad About Alice”. Last time I watched it, the boom mic dropped into view for a split second Might buy some croissant and ham and cheese for next week although I imagine that by the time we get up it’ll be more like lunch. My bloody computer has crashed twice. First time I was in the middle of a long email to Michelle and second time was completely at random before I even had a chance to do anything. It’s going to be one of those days.
* Earth almost put on impact alert *
Astronomers reveal how they came within minutes of alerting the world to a potential asteroid strike last month.
Actually, I have just read the story now and it seems the scientists only calculated a 25% chance of the asteroid hitting the earth and even then couldn’t analyse the trajectory to pinpoint where the 30m wide rock would land other than specifying the Northern Hemisphere. It wouldn’t have wiped out the planet but would apparently have caused more devastation than September 11. It would make quite a short and ultimately dull and uneventful film. They didn’t even call the President. What a big bunch of panic monkeys.
It’s 10.37am now. Hour and a half until lunch. Bored already but Sharon is up and about and sending me the odd email. Making a list of things to remember to take to Ireland which at this stage is totally unnecessary but it is something to do. 11.18am now. Just think next week I will look back at this week and it will all be over. Just two more days to get through after this one. Thursday and Friday. Going out for lunch with my old team for lunch tomorrow so that’ll be nice, then I can go home and watch the brilliant “Darkplace” and on Friday I treat myself to a yummy ham and cheese croissant and go home and sit in amazement watching “Mad About Alice”. Last time I watched it, the boom mic dropped into view for a split second Might buy some croissant and ham and cheese for next week although I imagine that by the time we get up it’ll be more like lunch. My bloody computer has crashed twice. First time I was in the middle of a long email to Michelle and second time was completely at random before I even had a chance to do anything. It’s going to be one of those days.
I have a feeling that today is going to drag cos I have five hours to go until I have any “work” to do, but at least we are halfway through the week. I still can’t get over the fact that I won tickets to see David Gray on Monday, I keep having to re-read my winning text message – that means we are seeing him in 5 earth days. That is ridiculous. Sadly it means we don’t get to see Luke & Stella but there will be plenty of opportunities in the next few months and never another opportunity to see Mr. Gray along with only 148 other people. I calculated last night that the Barfly holds 100 times less people than Earls Court, and as you remember we were right at the front for that run of gigs. So fingers crossed. I’ve only been to the Barfly once and that was to see the late Matthew Jay, before he sadly fell out of a fourth floor window, which I am still getting over. That was a brilliant gig and cos I had a promo copy of the album I was the only one who knew all the words but because it was so small I felt quite conspicuous so stood at the side by the wall so I could sing along without anyone seeing. So we’ve registered my details with Passport as a winner and my name plus one is going to be on the guestlist!! Wooohoooo!!! And we found out last night that Punt & Dennis are going on tour and doing two nights warm-up at the Latchmere. Get in.
This furthers my theory that I have some kind of guardian angel watching over me and making some of my attainable dreams come true, not that I believe in ghosts or reincarnation or any of that, I believe what I want to believe. I think it might be my grand-dad and who knows, maybe now my grandma as well – it could even be my grandma that I never met, who died when my dad was about 15 and obviously I never knew. There is definitely someone sorting me out time after time, albeit silly little things but they are things that make me happy. But then maybe you are in charge of your own destiny and its true that if you want something badly enough then you’ll get it – although there are some things that I have badly wanted but never got. I’d rather like my best friend to live closer to me or at least to get to see her more often, which I think might happen now. It’s quite sad that we don’t get to see each other that much any more but then we do have an ocean between us. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a brilliant best friend before. I suppose when you’re young best friends come and go and then you all grow up and go your separate ways but when you’re older, I’ve certainly found that I meet more people who I have more in common with other than just being in the same class and that forges a stronger connection. I keep in touch with about 3/4 people from school, which is fine, but over the past few years I have made some brilliant friends who I’ve met through people and just clicked with. Sharon and I have a stupid amount in common though, and not just comedy. We both have an inability and no wish to commit to relationships or permanent jobs, we’re both more than willing to quit everything at the drop of a hat and go where we want when we want and within reason we’re not too bothered about money. So long as we have just enough to get us by. I sense that Sharon may be making another trip to London towards the end of March for Punt & Dennis, which would be great cos then I can persuade her to come to my Dad’s birthday weekend so its not quite so boring for me and to further encourage the rumours of our homosexuality that my mum has been willing to be true. We do both, unfortunately for my mum, fancy boys. Two in particular who shall remain nameless. See how bored I am already? It’s only 9.30am and already I am getting all deep and meaningful.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned death before – possibly when my grandma died in January – but I am getting to that age when people that I’ve grown up with and seen on TV just seem to be looking really old and its quite upsetting. It’s best not to think about it in too much detail, especially what happens when you die cos it tends to make your brain short circuit. So one minute you are alive and then there’s nothing… forever….but you won’t know cos you’re dead. It’s quite a head f*ck. I don’t really believe in reincarnation but I think I’d like to although being a scientist I just can’t quite see it happening. I know its inevitable that we will all lose people close to us at some point but the thought is just unbearable. I think I’m just going to fall apart. I think my parents should have got me more pets when I was younger so I could have learnt about loss and bereavement. I don’t remember my first rabbit dying but I was quite gutted when my second one died when I was about 13. Me and my brother managed to kill the Koi Carp when my parents went on holiday when I was 17 and we had a “gathering” but I never really got that attached to them. We got news from the vet that our hamster died when we were on holiday when I was 10 and that was quite sad but later that evening I went on to win the disco dancing competition so that was quickly resolved. I don’t think I’ve had any other pets. The closest thing I’ve had recently was Kesh when I stayed with Sharon in 2002 for the festival. I’ll be devastated when little Kesh goes although that isn’t going to be for a long while. I can’t wait to see her when I get to Dublin, and I’ll meet Butler and Honey too, and some cats too which hopefully won’t attack me, as cats tend to do. And of course there will be a house-full of mice waiting to greet me! I think we all know the story of the evil cat that used to live on my road, which used to terrorise me on my way to school and one day left me covered in scratches and laddered my tights. Thankfully now it is dead, I only wish I had been old enough to drive so I could have run it over myself. Not that I am a viscous person, but that cat made my life hell. I think there is a similar one on our street at the moment, it miaowed at me a few months ago and I jumped out of my skin and ran home. I’d have kicked it if it had come any closer. Not that it would have deserved it but it looked exactly like the evil cat… maybe it was his ghost come back to haunt me…
This furthers my theory that I have some kind of guardian angel watching over me and making some of my attainable dreams come true, not that I believe in ghosts or reincarnation or any of that, I believe what I want to believe. I think it might be my grand-dad and who knows, maybe now my grandma as well – it could even be my grandma that I never met, who died when my dad was about 15 and obviously I never knew. There is definitely someone sorting me out time after time, albeit silly little things but they are things that make me happy. But then maybe you are in charge of your own destiny and its true that if you want something badly enough then you’ll get it – although there are some things that I have badly wanted but never got. I’d rather like my best friend to live closer to me or at least to get to see her more often, which I think might happen now. It’s quite sad that we don’t get to see each other that much any more but then we do have an ocean between us. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a brilliant best friend before. I suppose when you’re young best friends come and go and then you all grow up and go your separate ways but when you’re older, I’ve certainly found that I meet more people who I have more in common with other than just being in the same class and that forges a stronger connection. I keep in touch with about 3/4 people from school, which is fine, but over the past few years I have made some brilliant friends who I’ve met through people and just clicked with. Sharon and I have a stupid amount in common though, and not just comedy. We both have an inability and no wish to commit to relationships or permanent jobs, we’re both more than willing to quit everything at the drop of a hat and go where we want when we want and within reason we’re not too bothered about money. So long as we have just enough to get us by. I sense that Sharon may be making another trip to London towards the end of March for Punt & Dennis, which would be great cos then I can persuade her to come to my Dad’s birthday weekend so its not quite so boring for me and to further encourage the rumours of our homosexuality that my mum has been willing to be true. We do both, unfortunately for my mum, fancy boys. Two in particular who shall remain nameless. See how bored I am already? It’s only 9.30am and already I am getting all deep and meaningful.
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned death before – possibly when my grandma died in January – but I am getting to that age when people that I’ve grown up with and seen on TV just seem to be looking really old and its quite upsetting. It’s best not to think about it in too much detail, especially what happens when you die cos it tends to make your brain short circuit. So one minute you are alive and then there’s nothing… forever….but you won’t know cos you’re dead. It’s quite a head f*ck. I don’t really believe in reincarnation but I think I’d like to although being a scientist I just can’t quite see it happening. I know its inevitable that we will all lose people close to us at some point but the thought is just unbearable. I think I’m just going to fall apart. I think my parents should have got me more pets when I was younger so I could have learnt about loss and bereavement. I don’t remember my first rabbit dying but I was quite gutted when my second one died when I was about 13. Me and my brother managed to kill the Koi Carp when my parents went on holiday when I was 17 and we had a “gathering” but I never really got that attached to them. We got news from the vet that our hamster died when we were on holiday when I was 10 and that was quite sad but later that evening I went on to win the disco dancing competition so that was quickly resolved. I don’t think I’ve had any other pets. The closest thing I’ve had recently was Kesh when I stayed with Sharon in 2002 for the festival. I’ll be devastated when little Kesh goes although that isn’t going to be for a long while. I can’t wait to see her when I get to Dublin, and I’ll meet Butler and Honey too, and some cats too which hopefully won’t attack me, as cats tend to do. And of course there will be a house-full of mice waiting to greet me! I think we all know the story of the evil cat that used to live on my road, which used to terrorise me on my way to school and one day left me covered in scratches and laddered my tights. Thankfully now it is dead, I only wish I had been old enough to drive so I could have run it over myself. Not that I am a viscous person, but that cat made my life hell. I think there is a similar one on our street at the moment, it miaowed at me a few months ago and I jumped out of my skin and ran home. I’d have kicked it if it had come any closer. Not that it would have deserved it but it looked exactly like the evil cat… maybe it was his ghost come back to haunt me…
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've only won tickets to see David Gray on Monday at the Barfly in Camden! I can't believe it!! Sharon didn't believe me at first. I am so jammy (although I did send £30 of texts!) We are so so so happy!! I was lying on my bed and my phone went off and I presumed it was Sharon, as it usually is. Got up to check it and saw that there was a picture of an envelope rather than the photo of Sharon putting antlers on Kesh (which flashes up when Sharon texts or calls) and I prayed and looked at the sender and it said Passport. I let out a short squeal and then thought it might be a "sorry you've not won" text so I read it AND IT SAID THAT I WON!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I'm never going to be able to sleep!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've only won tickets to see David Gray on Monday at the Barfly in Camden! I can't believe it!! Sharon didn't believe me at first. I am so jammy (although I did send £30 of texts!) We are so so so happy!! I was lying on my bed and my phone went off and I presumed it was Sharon, as it usually is. Got up to check it and saw that there was a picture of an envelope rather than the photo of Sharon putting antlers on Kesh (which flashes up when Sharon texts or calls) and I prayed and looked at the sender and it said Passport. I let out a short squeal and then thought it might be a "sorry you've not won" text so I read it AND IT SAID THAT I WON!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I'm never going to be able to sleep!
I think I’ve lined myself up some exciting work experience for when I am back from Edinburgh and am inevitably unemployed for a while. Rather than tiddling my thumbs I am hoping to go into my favourite production company for a while to help out and show them exactly why I got my tea-making badge on the first attempt when I was in the Brownies. Very exciting but knowing my luck I will get a job immediately when I get back. Maybe I’ll tell the agencies to give me another week or so cos I’m not missing out on this.
I’ve also discovered that its not a good idea to be wearing the top I have on today while my trousers are still falling off me. The waist of my trousers is lower. Lower than my top comes down so I am having to be careful. If I pull my top too far down then the whole bank will get an eye-full of cleavage but when I pull it back up they get an eye full of midriff. It’s a no-win situation. Why am I typing all this? I’m not going to want to read back over this nonsense? Three more days of twaddle and then its over to the Comedy Lounge blog for a few weeks and then my life is my own again, but I won’t be being paid. It’s all swings and roundabouts. 28 minutes to go. Still no sign of a text message about David Gray gig.
I’ve also discovered that its not a good idea to be wearing the top I have on today while my trousers are still falling off me. The waist of my trousers is lower. Lower than my top comes down so I am having to be careful. If I pull my top too far down then the whole bank will get an eye-full of cleavage but when I pull it back up they get an eye full of midriff. It’s a no-win situation. Why am I typing all this? I’m not going to want to read back over this nonsense? Three more days of twaddle and then its over to the Comedy Lounge blog for a few weeks and then my life is my own again, but I won’t be being paid. It’s all swings and roundabouts. 28 minutes to go. Still no sign of a text message about David Gray gig.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what?
A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
I apologise. This is what I have to put up with.
A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
I apologise. This is what I have to put up with.
It?s not looking all that good for the David Gray gig on Monday despite me being an eternal optimist. One part of the Passport site and the texts say winners will be notified on 22 Feb (in which case we?re not going) but on another part of the site it says winners will be notified on 24 Feb (in which case there is still some hope). We are going to wander down and chance our arm at getting in for the sound check cos I don?t think even Sharon and I will be able to blag into such a tiny gig. When we went to see David Gray at the Corn Exchange in Edinburgh a mong child and her mum got in aand even got drum sticks from Clune so if all else fails we?ll get Sharon to dribble a bit and clap a lot ? although we don?t want drumsticks, just to hear brilliant music by our favourite singing man who doesn?t wobble his head anymore. If we don?t get to go it won?t be the best start to our week but at least we have back up plans and loads more else planned. We?ll just have to make sure we leave long before the doors open and make sure we don?t think about it. There will probably be some alcohol involved in the numbing and taking our mind off it process.
I just did the maths quiz on the BBC News site and found out that maths-wise I am very clever indeed. I solved these simultaneous equations in a matter of seconds.
7x + y = 9
3x – y = 7
I shouldn’t be temping, I should be winning the Nobel Prize for Maths or something. Sharon wants me to help with some stats she has to do for her Psychology course and I must say I am looking forward to doing something with my brain and making the three years I spent at university seem slightly more worthwhile. Do you see how bored I am?!
7x + y = 9
3x – y = 7
I shouldn’t be temping, I should be winning the Nobel Prize for Maths or something. Sharon wants me to help with some stats she has to do for her Psychology course and I must say I am looking forward to doing something with my brain and making the three years I spent at university seem slightly more worthwhile. Do you see how bored I am?!
Excellent and surprising news. I went on my stepper last night for 30 whole minutes. I think I should have done some stretches beforehand cos my left thigh almost gave up half way through but I am shocked not to be aching this morning. I even had my swimming bag packed to bring to work to go on the way home but I decided to leave it at home and see how I feel this evening and go home and then take my car to Beckenham so I don’t have to wait for public transport with wet hair if I do decide to go. Well, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. So I might still go, I need to suss out whether the lanes are open and when peak time is cos I don’t want to go when it’s too busy. And let’s not forget that I can go swimming during the day when Sharon is over and then whenever I like until I get a new job. But let’s not forget that I *did* go on the stepper last night, and may well again tonight if I don’t go swimming, just to get some momentum going. I am very pleased with myself. Didn’t have the energy to do any sit ups though…
Just talking to the new guy about music and comedy and going out and managed to keep it together just about although I am sure he still thinks I am a bit strange, and I wouldn’t blame him if he did. He plays rugby during the week – I think he wanted to crowbar that into conversation, but what he doesn’t know is that I think most rugger buggers are twats. Note, I said most. Not all.
This morning I posted the cheque to the nice people we are renting our flat from in Edinburgh. I must say I didn’t expect to have a flat sorted before the end of February. There are some really expensive ones, which don’t even look as nice as ours so I think we have done the right thing in snapping this one up. The couple even offered to pick us up from the airport if we were flying to Edinburgh, which is very nice of them. Its about a 2/3 minute walk from the Courtyard so we can nip back for a snack and a cup of tea every so often so we don’t end up spending a fortune on cheese & ham toasties and hot dogs. In fact, I think I might even invest in a breville, a block of red leicester, some ham and a loaf of bread. Mmmm. Its February and we’re already getting excited about the Festival. That’s not such bad going, we started the countdown in October a few years ago which was a bit of a mistake. I know I say it every year but its not good to spend 11 months looking forward to four weeks, even though those four weeks are absolutely brilliant. God I sound like a broken record. What can I talk about instead?!
From the BBC
* Tuition fees offer to study maths *
Students in England should be given financial incentives to study maths, an inquiry is expected to say.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/1/hi/education/3515449.stm
Well in that case I think I should be offered some kind of cash compensation for voluntarily subjecting myself to utter hell for three years and then having to work in a sodding bank as a result.
Just talking to the new guy about music and comedy and going out and managed to keep it together just about although I am sure he still thinks I am a bit strange, and I wouldn’t blame him if he did. He plays rugby during the week – I think he wanted to crowbar that into conversation, but what he doesn’t know is that I think most rugger buggers are twats. Note, I said most. Not all.
This morning I posted the cheque to the nice people we are renting our flat from in Edinburgh. I must say I didn’t expect to have a flat sorted before the end of February. There are some really expensive ones, which don’t even look as nice as ours so I think we have done the right thing in snapping this one up. The couple even offered to pick us up from the airport if we were flying to Edinburgh, which is very nice of them. Its about a 2/3 minute walk from the Courtyard so we can nip back for a snack and a cup of tea every so often so we don’t end up spending a fortune on cheese & ham toasties and hot dogs. In fact, I think I might even invest in a breville, a block of red leicester, some ham and a loaf of bread. Mmmm. Its February and we’re already getting excited about the Festival. That’s not such bad going, we started the countdown in October a few years ago which was a bit of a mistake. I know I say it every year but its not good to spend 11 months looking forward to four weeks, even though those four weeks are absolutely brilliant. God I sound like a broken record. What can I talk about instead?!
From the BBC
* Tuition fees offer to study maths *
Students in England should be given financial incentives to study maths, an inquiry is expected to say.
Full story:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/-/1/hi/education/3515449.stm
Well in that case I think I should be offered some kind of cash compensation for voluntarily subjecting myself to utter hell for three years and then having to work in a sodding bank as a result.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Excellent news - our flat is free and they are holding it for us for a week so we can send our deposit. It looks really nice and it's really really close to the Pleasance in the Old Town and it means we can return the favour and cook dinner for our niCe chums - obviously that's not the only reason we are shelling out a fortune for our own flat. It would be cheaper just to take them out for a curry or something. I am really excited about everything at the moment - it's just a shame that I have four more days of being depressed and bored out of my brains at work before the fun commences.
So the fun starts in four days and I do hate to harp on but I cannot wait. It's going to be such a rollercoaster and we get to have fun every day that we're together. It's not fair that we live in different countries. We don't even have the same currency. So all is going well in every aspect of our lives other than money and jobs but that's not everything. I am very excited now.
So the fun starts in four days and I do hate to harp on but I cannot wait. It's going to be such a rollercoaster and we get to have fun every day that we're together. It's not fair that we live in different countries. We don't even have the same currency. So all is going well in every aspect of our lives other than money and jobs but that's not everything. I am very excited now.
“27 minutes to go. I’ve got 27 minutes to go… la la la la da da dee dee dee, I’ve got 27 minutes before I gotta go…” That’s 27 minutes too many in my opinion. Isn’t it getting nice and light outside of an evening? When I started here back at the end of October it was pitch black at home time but now its even quite light when I get home which means summer is on the way. I am looking forward to the summer. It’s going to be nice, as long as its not too bloody hot again – at least we were in Edinburgh and missed out on the killer heatwave in London. Bring it on. 21 minutes to go… I have decided that I will try my best to force myself onto my stepper tonight but if I don’t and I don’t go out tomorrow night then I will bring my swimming stuff to work and get off the train at Clock House and go swimming in Beckenham after work, then get the bus or train home. That way I won’t get home, sit down and not get up again. Very cunning eh? And I do like swimming. It’s just a bit boring sometimes and annoying if there are really slow people in the way. And I have to time swimming sessions to fit in with when I am due to wash my hair cos I don’t want to end up washing it all of the time. Girls have to think of these things you see. Men’s lives are so bloody easy. 18 minutes to go… In fact, I keep meaning to go to Aquafit in Bromley which I think is a Thursday night – must look into that too although I’d rather not go on my own for the first few times when I inevitably look like a bit of a novice. 12 minutes to go.. come on, I can do this. 12 minutes is nothing. It’s approximately £2.80 before tax… I’d rather forfeit the £2.80 and go home now though.
We’ve found a flat for the Festival, now we have to keep our fingers crossed that its available for the period we want it. It looks completely perfect and has one bedroom with twin beds or a double bed and also a sofa bed in the front room so we can have people stay with us. Or you never know, one of us might even get lucky. Or not. Just waiting for the man to get back to us. We’ll have to scrape the deposit together but I have an overdraft and a cheque book so that shouldn’t be too much bother and we’ll have to take out holiday insurance too. Very exciting. It is about as expensive as we were expecting but we’re trying not to think about it. I have been emailing Sharon about it and the man who owns the flat but I’ve been flapping big style. I am usually very organised but I have my moments, today being one of them so Sharon has been drafted in to make the phone call in case I stuff it up.
One long, drawn-out, painful hour to go until I can go home and try and get things done and toy with the idea of doing some exercise. It’s just such an effort and I’m so very lazy. And me and Sharon have important business to discuss. And I must check my lottery ticket from a few weeks ago to see if I’m rich. Although I’d be gutted to find out I am a millionaire and needn’t have worked in this dump for the past few weeks for a few measly hundred pounds. I fear that won’t be the case though. Four more days to go… that’s almost bearable. No plans to go out yet though, that is bad. I’ve been so good at being a party animal recently and I want to keep it up – although its quite an expensive task. I spent about £40 on Valentines night but that was for me and someone else I spose. And we did go “dancing” as far as my memory is aware. We also ruined my Boots card and my HSBC card by breaking into someones flat to get the key for the one we were going to… long story but if you know me well enough I’ve probably already told you. Was a really funny night. How on earth did I get onto that subject…. Not going to the Chortle awards tonight cos they are far too far away and niCe mUm aren’t going so it will be rubbish. And Chortle stole the innovation award idea from us. We invented that category, no-one else, us. And we named it after Noble & Silver who are brilliant but that who we haven’t seen in ages and ages.
One long, drawn-out, painful hour to go until I can go home and try and get things done and toy with the idea of doing some exercise. It’s just such an effort and I’m so very lazy. And me and Sharon have important business to discuss. And I must check my lottery ticket from a few weeks ago to see if I’m rich. Although I’d be gutted to find out I am a millionaire and needn’t have worked in this dump for the past few weeks for a few measly hundred pounds. I fear that won’t be the case though. Four more days to go… that’s almost bearable. No plans to go out yet though, that is bad. I’ve been so good at being a party animal recently and I want to keep it up – although its quite an expensive task. I spent about £40 on Valentines night but that was for me and someone else I spose. And we did go “dancing” as far as my memory is aware. We also ruined my Boots card and my HSBC card by breaking into someones flat to get the key for the one we were going to… long story but if you know me well enough I’ve probably already told you. Was a really funny night. How on earth did I get onto that subject…. Not going to the Chortle awards tonight cos they are far too far away and niCe mUm aren’t going so it will be rubbish. And Chortle stole the innovation award idea from us. We invented that category, no-one else, us. And we named it after Noble & Silver who are brilliant but that who we haven’t seen in ages and ages.
I am going to slip into a coma in a minute. I’ve been at lunch for about 90 mins so far. I’ve just been surfing cos I have bugger all else to do until 2pm. I have been doing constructive things though, looking for accommodation for the festival. It’s going to cost a fortune but it’ll be worth it. I daresay we’ll end up with a 1 bedroom flat if anything but then we always used to both sleep in Sharon’s room anyway. We’re going to have to save up big time in order to afford it so I suppose I should make a big effort to find another temp job quickly when I get back from Dublin. We also decided last night that we are going to go to the Cat Laughs festival this year. Thinking about it, we’re not quite sure why we haven’t been for the past few years and we decided it must have been cos its quite soon before the Edinburgh festival and we couldn’t afford to take time off unpaid and find somewhere to stay. It’s only a long weekend and seeings Sharon is in Ireland this year, it would be stupid not to go. So that’s something else to look forward to and something else to save up for. I think that might be what’s making me feel quite anxious. I have so much too look forward to and so much nervous energy just thinking about it, yet I am forced to sit at a desk all day doing absolutely nothing at all.
I don’t fancy the new guy opposite me but whenever he speaks to me I seem to get a bit flustered and turn into a gurning idiot. He asked me how old I am and I told him and he kindly said I didn’t look it, to which I arrogantly replied “yeah, I know”. I am such a twat sometimes. He asked what I got up to at the weekend so I said I went out to dinner on Saturday night. He smoothly asked if that was just me and my boyfriend (how flattering - not) and I said “no, me and three gay men”, so god only knows what he must think of me – not that there is anything wrong with me going out with gay men, it was just the sarcastic tone in which I said it. I am a twat. David’s lovely boyfriend Jon was surprised when I told him how old I was, even though he knows I am the same age as David. Bless him. He told me I look much younger… about 25. Which, let’s face it, isn’t that much younger, but it was nice of him to say.
My dad managed to wake me up at 7am on both Saturday and Sunday via the use of the toaster, an open kitchen door and an oversensitive smoke alarm, coupled with the fact that he is fairly deaf and so didn’t turn the alarm off for at least two minutes. Honestly. Got up at about 10am on Saturday and then killed some time until going to Metal Heads in Bromley to get my hair cut. My new hairdresser, Chill, was really nice and she cut my hair really well so I’m definitely going back there in the future and we had a nice chat. I don’t normally talk to hairdressers much – it is quite anti-social having long hair cos you have to sit with your head down for most of the time – but she was ace. I wandered round the top end of Bromley, buying yet more Clinique stuff (I almost have the whole range but there are some really ace products) and then spent about 15 mins in Boots trying to find a new concealer but every single brand I tried was a completely different colour. Some of them were orangey, some were yellowly but very few of them actually seemed to match my skin tone. Some cosmetics companies have a very strange idea of what “Fair” actually means. No wonder there are so many orange-faced women in Bromley. Drove round to my brothers for a cup of tea and then headed back to get ready to go out with David and the rest of the gay posse. Drove down to Bermondsey and left my car at David’s but we didn’t leave the flat til about 9.30pm. We went out for dinner and managed to leave the restaurant at midnight so we decided not to go into town and I ended up driving home. Well done me. Two glasses of wine. Very good.
On Sunday, after the smoke alarm went off, my brother decided to call me to get me to drive down to Addington Palace for a wedding fair, which I stupidly agreed to. He is actually getting married at Addington Palace so I thought I’d go down and check it out. It’s beautiful and it made it all seem alarmingly real. We saw a few bridesmaids dresses and Sam made me squirm a bit when she pointed at a hideous lilac one which would look horrible on me. I am sure she wouldn’t make me wear something which I absolutely hated… she’d better not anyway or I will pretend my train from Edinburgh has been cancelled or something. When I got there I walked into the marquee outside to try and find my brother and there was a really manky looking angel statue in the hallway but as I walked past it reached out and scared the life out of me. Bloody street performers, as if you’d have something like that at your wedding. I did suggest getting a stand up comedian to do 20 minutes but my brother didn’t seem too keen on that idea. He is very narrow-minded. He said he would if I could get Ricky Gervais. So, disco it is then. Went back to my brother’s for lunch and then onto Sam’s parents’ for her birthday gathering. There were loads of people, most of which I didn’t know and everyone seemed to be coupled up and very smug about it, which didn’t really bother me but I did feel like a bit of a lemon and my mum’s hawk eyes were firmly set on me. There were lots of babies too which made me feel very uneasy. Especially with my mum watching me looking signs of broodiness, of which she saw none. Speaking of which, when we were looking at cakes at the wedding fair, he and Sam were on about having to have a fruit cake layer to save for the christening. Yuk, my brother plans to breed. That is a sickening thought but at least it will get my mum off my case. My brother’s friend Matt has a little girl called Taiya who is absolutely hilarious. She likes to high 5 my brother and she’s only 18 months, she has got a really sweet giggle too. I don’t want one though. I have trouble enough looking after myself never mind a little person. Maybe before I’m 35/40, but until then… We watched the Tottenham match cos both of our families are Spurs fans, well all the males in each of our families are. It was quite a funny game and it ended 4-4. Every time one of us walked out of the room someone would score so by the end of it people were refusing to leave the room. It’s the first whole game of football I’ve actually watched the whole way through in ages. Managed to escape after Sam blew out the candles on her cake and went home and had a long chat with Sharon. Let’s just get through these five week days and then we are going to have the time of our lives. Sorry to harp on, but it really is the only thing keeping me going at the moment. And I seem to have permanent knots and permanent butterflies in my stomach at the moment, for numerous reasons I think. None of which will become apparent and I think I’m having a small crisis of confidence. It’s probably anxiety from waiting to hear if we’ve won tickets to David Gray next week or whether we have to stand outside and cry.
So now I am sitting here at work. 10.30am and I am bored out of my tiny mind as per usual. Money matters aren’t looking great at the moment either. I seem to have overspent but I am not quite sure how. I’ve no idea how I have spent £500 on my credit card in the last week or so. I think there must be some kind of mistake and I plan to investigate during lunch while I wander down to the tube to get my new Oyster card so Mr. Blairs can keep tabs on my movements.
Still no plans for the week as yet. David was talking about going to Comedy Camp tomorrow night. Plans so far are use of stepper tonight and swimming tomorrow evening. If I remember of course and don’t just sit on my lazy backside. My suit trousers are hanging off me at the moment. They’ve never really fit me but I must look ridiculous today. I’ve bust the zip on my nice ones. Three more days of wearing rubbish smart clothes and then its black cords and jeans every day until someone spoils my fun and gets me a stupid job. Might see if I can get me some work experience somewhere… I don’t know where.
Its nearly noon now and I am about to gouge my eyes out, just for something to do. In fact, I am going to pop out to lunch now and try to stimulate my brain in some way.
My dad managed to wake me up at 7am on both Saturday and Sunday via the use of the toaster, an open kitchen door and an oversensitive smoke alarm, coupled with the fact that he is fairly deaf and so didn’t turn the alarm off for at least two minutes. Honestly. Got up at about 10am on Saturday and then killed some time until going to Metal Heads in Bromley to get my hair cut. My new hairdresser, Chill, was really nice and she cut my hair really well so I’m definitely going back there in the future and we had a nice chat. I don’t normally talk to hairdressers much – it is quite anti-social having long hair cos you have to sit with your head down for most of the time – but she was ace. I wandered round the top end of Bromley, buying yet more Clinique stuff (I almost have the whole range but there are some really ace products) and then spent about 15 mins in Boots trying to find a new concealer but every single brand I tried was a completely different colour. Some of them were orangey, some were yellowly but very few of them actually seemed to match my skin tone. Some cosmetics companies have a very strange idea of what “Fair” actually means. No wonder there are so many orange-faced women in Bromley. Drove round to my brothers for a cup of tea and then headed back to get ready to go out with David and the rest of the gay posse. Drove down to Bermondsey and left my car at David’s but we didn’t leave the flat til about 9.30pm. We went out for dinner and managed to leave the restaurant at midnight so we decided not to go into town and I ended up driving home. Well done me. Two glasses of wine. Very good.
On Sunday, after the smoke alarm went off, my brother decided to call me to get me to drive down to Addington Palace for a wedding fair, which I stupidly agreed to. He is actually getting married at Addington Palace so I thought I’d go down and check it out. It’s beautiful and it made it all seem alarmingly real. We saw a few bridesmaids dresses and Sam made me squirm a bit when she pointed at a hideous lilac one which would look horrible on me. I am sure she wouldn’t make me wear something which I absolutely hated… she’d better not anyway or I will pretend my train from Edinburgh has been cancelled or something. When I got there I walked into the marquee outside to try and find my brother and there was a really manky looking angel statue in the hallway but as I walked past it reached out and scared the life out of me. Bloody street performers, as if you’d have something like that at your wedding. I did suggest getting a stand up comedian to do 20 minutes but my brother didn’t seem too keen on that idea. He is very narrow-minded. He said he would if I could get Ricky Gervais. So, disco it is then. Went back to my brother’s for lunch and then onto Sam’s parents’ for her birthday gathering. There were loads of people, most of which I didn’t know and everyone seemed to be coupled up and very smug about it, which didn’t really bother me but I did feel like a bit of a lemon and my mum’s hawk eyes were firmly set on me. There were lots of babies too which made me feel very uneasy. Especially with my mum watching me looking signs of broodiness, of which she saw none. Speaking of which, when we were looking at cakes at the wedding fair, he and Sam were on about having to have a fruit cake layer to save for the christening. Yuk, my brother plans to breed. That is a sickening thought but at least it will get my mum off my case. My brother’s friend Matt has a little girl called Taiya who is absolutely hilarious. She likes to high 5 my brother and she’s only 18 months, she has got a really sweet giggle too. I don’t want one though. I have trouble enough looking after myself never mind a little person. Maybe before I’m 35/40, but until then… We watched the Tottenham match cos both of our families are Spurs fans, well all the males in each of our families are. It was quite a funny game and it ended 4-4. Every time one of us walked out of the room someone would score so by the end of it people were refusing to leave the room. It’s the first whole game of football I’ve actually watched the whole way through in ages. Managed to escape after Sam blew out the candles on her cake and went home and had a long chat with Sharon. Let’s just get through these five week days and then we are going to have the time of our lives. Sorry to harp on, but it really is the only thing keeping me going at the moment. And I seem to have permanent knots and permanent butterflies in my stomach at the moment, for numerous reasons I think. None of which will become apparent and I think I’m having a small crisis of confidence. It’s probably anxiety from waiting to hear if we’ve won tickets to David Gray next week or whether we have to stand outside and cry.
So now I am sitting here at work. 10.30am and I am bored out of my tiny mind as per usual. Money matters aren’t looking great at the moment either. I seem to have overspent but I am not quite sure how. I’ve no idea how I have spent £500 on my credit card in the last week or so. I think there must be some kind of mistake and I plan to investigate during lunch while I wander down to the tube to get my new Oyster card so Mr. Blairs can keep tabs on my movements.
Still no plans for the week as yet. David was talking about going to Comedy Camp tomorrow night. Plans so far are use of stepper tonight and swimming tomorrow evening. If I remember of course and don’t just sit on my lazy backside. My suit trousers are hanging off me at the moment. They’ve never really fit me but I must look ridiculous today. I’ve bust the zip on my nice ones. Three more days of wearing rubbish smart clothes and then its black cords and jeans every day until someone spoils my fun and gets me a stupid job. Might see if I can get me some work experience somewhere… I don’t know where.
Its nearly noon now and I am about to gouge my eyes out, just for something to do. In fact, I am going to pop out to lunch now and try to stimulate my brain in some way.
Friday, February 20, 2004
Have lovely bags under my eyes this morning but also have just polished off a tasty cheese and ham croissant (I am very continental). Stayed up far too late watching comedy last night. “Darkplace” was absolutely fantastic, I laughed out loud so many times and recognised Noel within a split second of seeing his profile in a monkey suit. Julian was in it too, as was Kim Noble and Matt Berry (off Jeff Porksmith fame – although I think I’m the only one who remembers him – I just wish I could remember the song he used to sing). We really must try to interview the Marenghi team, they are incredibly good actors, especially Alice Lowe. I’ll add them to our list of people to speak to – and its probably about time we started to reinterview those who featured on the earlier issues of Comedy Lounge, like the Hollow Men who are on the brink of super-stardom in America and Lee Mack who’s working on his own sitcom.
When I was round my brothers the other night we were watching Coronation Street and out of nowhere (and possibly as revenge for me telling him Steve MacDonald reminds me of him) he told me that he thinks I look like Tracy Barlow. Bloody charming, although she is quite pretty, she is an evil cow. And when I got back from my brother’s my mum was asking (and she meant this in all seriousness) if I’d gone to the Brit Awards the night before! Nice of her to think I am that important but alas I was at the slighty less star-studded Etc theatre.
So its 10am and I’ve been here an hour. This week has gone fairly quickly. I think the trick is to go out at least a few nights and preferably early on in the week. Hopefully next week will go a bit quicker and then it’s fun time! Don’t really have that much planned for next week at the moment other than going to an agency next Wednesday, will see what comedy is about on Mon/Tues/Wed and see which of my charming friends fancy a bit of a laugh.
My beautiful Graham Coxon ticket arrived this morning. It is pink and lovely and will let me into the Electric Ballroom to see lovely Graham. Haven’t been to the Electric Ballroom since I went to the Blur B-sides fan club gig about 4/5 years ago. See, it’s not sad being in the fan club, you get to go to special secret gigs in tiny venues. Can’t wait to see Graham, his new song is very lovely – just waiting for my Nottingham tickets to arrive now. I really must buy the last two albums which I have stupidly not bought cos I am useless. I’ve had the Darkness album since before the festival and I have only just got round to listening to it the whole way through. It’s actually great and there’s some real cheesy rock mixed in with more credible stuff.
An important man just came over (while I was on the net, but luckily only on the Natwest site) to ask me something or other about what I do in the afternoon. Frankly, I think he should be more worried about what I do (or don’t do) in the mornings. My internet access is going through the roof. Something about do I get bits of paper which don’t have people’s names on and all that nonsence. Of course he doesn’t realise that having a degree in Maths, I AM ACTUALLY QUITE CLEVER AND HE SHOULD GO AND PATRONISE SOMEONE ELSE WHO GIVES A SHIT. And relax. As it goes, I do get the odd thing but I file it under B (if you get my drift – anyone who works in an office will).
When I was on the train last night I noticed that the woman opposite us was reading a book called “Keeping Your Kids Sexually Pure”. It was quite apt given that me and Pete were discussing the youth of today and how short the skirts were of some girls Pete saw going to an under 18s disco in Bromely the other night. His exact words were, “you could see the bottom of their arses”, which he said with quite some volume on a very quiet train containing people I see most days of my working life. Not to worry. I won’t be seeing them for a while after next week – get in. In fact, I won’t have to get up stupidly early for a long time either. Oh happy days.
When I was round my brothers the other night we were watching Coronation Street and out of nowhere (and possibly as revenge for me telling him Steve MacDonald reminds me of him) he told me that he thinks I look like Tracy Barlow. Bloody charming, although she is quite pretty, she is an evil cow. And when I got back from my brother’s my mum was asking (and she meant this in all seriousness) if I’d gone to the Brit Awards the night before! Nice of her to think I am that important but alas I was at the slighty less star-studded Etc theatre.
So its 10am and I’ve been here an hour. This week has gone fairly quickly. I think the trick is to go out at least a few nights and preferably early on in the week. Hopefully next week will go a bit quicker and then it’s fun time! Don’t really have that much planned for next week at the moment other than going to an agency next Wednesday, will see what comedy is about on Mon/Tues/Wed and see which of my charming friends fancy a bit of a laugh.
My beautiful Graham Coxon ticket arrived this morning. It is pink and lovely and will let me into the Electric Ballroom to see lovely Graham. Haven’t been to the Electric Ballroom since I went to the Blur B-sides fan club gig about 4/5 years ago. See, it’s not sad being in the fan club, you get to go to special secret gigs in tiny venues. Can’t wait to see Graham, his new song is very lovely – just waiting for my Nottingham tickets to arrive now. I really must buy the last two albums which I have stupidly not bought cos I am useless. I’ve had the Darkness album since before the festival and I have only just got round to listening to it the whole way through. It’s actually great and there’s some real cheesy rock mixed in with more credible stuff.
An important man just came over (while I was on the net, but luckily only on the Natwest site) to ask me something or other about what I do in the afternoon. Frankly, I think he should be more worried about what I do (or don’t do) in the mornings. My internet access is going through the roof. Something about do I get bits of paper which don’t have people’s names on and all that nonsence. Of course he doesn’t realise that having a degree in Maths, I AM ACTUALLY QUITE CLEVER AND HE SHOULD GO AND PATRONISE SOMEONE ELSE WHO GIVES A SHIT. And relax. As it goes, I do get the odd thing but I file it under B (if you get my drift – anyone who works in an office will).
When I was on the train last night I noticed that the woman opposite us was reading a book called “Keeping Your Kids Sexually Pure”. It was quite apt given that me and Pete were discussing the youth of today and how short the skirts were of some girls Pete saw going to an under 18s disco in Bromely the other night. His exact words were, “you could see the bottom of their arses”, which he said with quite some volume on a very quiet train containing people I see most days of my working life. Not to worry. I won’t be seeing them for a while after next week – get in. In fact, I won’t have to get up stupidly early for a long time either. Oh happy days.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
I have literally done bugger all bank-wise today. Boosh-wise I have accomplished a lot. The new site is going to be something pretty special, and also slightly embarrassing given quite how in depth we are hoping it will be. It may make our old selves look fairly obsessive what with going to the opposite side of London every Monday without fail just to see the Boosh. I admit that looking back at those days I am amazed that Noel and Julian consider it safe to talk to us although obviously now we are cutting edge comedy journalists. Those really were the days though. Laughing yourself to near death, there?s no feeling quite like it. Tonight I am going to start the transformation of the contents page into something pretty special. And I am really looking forward to making heavy inroads into it.
2.30pm - 47.5 working hours til I never have to come back here again. I definitely couldn?t stay here until the end of July. My brain would shrivel up and disappear and we wouldn?t want that to happen. Well, I wouldn?t anyway. Its hard work being bored all day.
2.30pm - 47.5 working hours til I never have to come back here again. I definitely couldn?t stay here until the end of July. My brain would shrivel up and disappear and we wouldn?t want that to happen. Well, I wouldn?t anyway. Its hard work being bored all day.
The bounty hunter is getting better… today they had Paul Ross, Tim Lovejoy, Lionel Blairs and Rolf Harris… oooh. None of them is worth giving away £10k for, although Christian and Lionel have made up after they fell out over Panto Watch a few Xmases ago. Its 9.20am and I am already bored. Had a good night last night at my brothers. Had really yummy pizza from Sainsburys and Pizza Express doughballs and watched telly and discussed weddings (but only for a few mins which was bearable) – I am still keen to get my point across about black bridesmaid dresses being elegant and flattering. There is a wedding fair in Addington on Sunday morning but I can’t imagine I’ll be awake in time to go. It’s probably more important that I start thinking about my Uncle’s wedding at the end of October. I have a potential dress to wear, which I bought on Valentines Day on my shopping spree. It is black with thin straps, little pink handbags all over it and a black ribbon round the waist. It’s not very me but it looks really nice so it’s an option. That’ll only be a short while after the festival… wonder if Sharon can come too… I might ask, then I won’t have to spend the whole night talking to relatives about not “courting” as is tradition. I like the way everyone presumes I don’t have a partner to bring to a wedding… I don’t but you should never rule out the possibility – just look at Kathryn and her gay boyfriend. Shame you can’t just marry a friend, life would be so much simpler.
My brother has kindly agreed to lend me his digital camera for the fortnight during which Sharon and I will be having fun so that saves me from having to buy one for now. Will definitely have to get one in time for the festival though. I think I might have found somewhere in Brommers to get my hair cut. Sam recommended a place called Metal Heads which isn’t too expensive and apparently they are very good, so I will try to get an appointment as soon as humanly possible. I don’t think I’ve had my hair cut since I went to Nottingham at the beginning of December. In fact, it might even have been before then cos I vowed never to go there again after they screwed up my appointment for cleansing my hair at the beginning of November. That would explain how my hair has got quite so long recently.
God I am bored. It’s only 9.45am. Only another 6 days in this hell hole and then I’m freeeeeee! Two weeks of immense fun resurrecting the lounge to what it once was and regaining our credibility and self-respect. I think I might get on and write my article about the history of the Boosh and about the live shows, although my keyboard is so bloody loud. Bothered?! It’s now 11am and I have been entertaining myself… I’ve found all of the weekly Boosh reviews from the H&C in 98/99 and I am finding it hard to remember most of the skits we have written about! How dedicated were we to go every week and I’d take notes after the show and write a review on the train the next day on the way to work. It chronicles the Mighty Boosh/Arctic Boosh and work in progress brilliantly – if ever someone writes a Biography of the Boosh then they’ll have to come to me for the early days. I can’t believe I remembered the old URL. That’s really taken me back. Wish I’d kept it up throughout Arctic and Auto Boosh too.
My brother has kindly agreed to lend me his digital camera for the fortnight during which Sharon and I will be having fun so that saves me from having to buy one for now. Will definitely have to get one in time for the festival though. I think I might have found somewhere in Brommers to get my hair cut. Sam recommended a place called Metal Heads which isn’t too expensive and apparently they are very good, so I will try to get an appointment as soon as humanly possible. I don’t think I’ve had my hair cut since I went to Nottingham at the beginning of December. In fact, it might even have been before then cos I vowed never to go there again after they screwed up my appointment for cleansing my hair at the beginning of November. That would explain how my hair has got quite so long recently.
God I am bored. It’s only 9.45am. Only another 6 days in this hell hole and then I’m freeeeeee! Two weeks of immense fun resurrecting the lounge to what it once was and regaining our credibility and self-respect. I think I might get on and write my article about the history of the Boosh and about the live shows, although my keyboard is so bloody loud. Bothered?! It’s now 11am and I have been entertaining myself… I’ve found all of the weekly Boosh reviews from the H&C in 98/99 and I am finding it hard to remember most of the skits we have written about! How dedicated were we to go every week and I’d take notes after the show and write a review on the train the next day on the way to work. It chronicles the Mighty Boosh/Arctic Boosh and work in progress brilliantly – if ever someone writes a Biography of the Boosh then they’ll have to come to me for the early days. I can’t believe I remembered the old URL. That’s really taken me back. Wish I’d kept it up throughout Arctic and Auto Boosh too.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
It?s a shame the XFM bounty hunter competition isn?t running until Sharon is over cos we could easily track down some celebs - it?s our forte. Ten grand would do very nicely indeed. We could always get a talented impressionist to pretend to be someone more famous. They were so desperate this morning that Jane Goldman called in to say she had spotted Jonathan Ross in her kitchen, which is technically cheating cos obviously they are married and live together. And they?ve had Richard Bacon and Sarah Cawood calling in themselves to try and win ?5k for themselves? I would say they are possibly F listers. And its bound to be someone who works in PR or management who has famous clients who is going to win. I want to win. I want ?10k, that would solve a lot of problems and move my life on quite well. I wonder if Dan Clark from off off ?Mad About Alice? would do the trick? or Justin Moorhouse from off of Phoenix Nights? we know so many famouses we could definitely win.
I have cancelled my appointment at the recruitment agency tonight so I?m going straight home and then round to my brothers for dinner and to watch telly in a different environment, which will be nice. And I get to play around on his laptop and beg him to lend me his digital camera so I don?t have to spend my non-existent cash on one. My brother has many cool gadgets although I?m not stupid enough to ask to borrow his ipod. He?d never lend me it for one thing and also it is full of rubbish music which I hate. Although he has lent me his grotty unkempt silver 3-door fiesta a few times before. For which of course I am very grateful. I will be leaving his house well before the football starts so I can try to tick off a few things on my to-do list, which continues to grow ? and so I don?t have to watch the football.
Twenty minutes to go, thank god. Then I have 7 more ?working? days left.
I have cancelled my appointment at the recruitment agency tonight so I?m going straight home and then round to my brothers for dinner and to watch telly in a different environment, which will be nice. And I get to play around on his laptop and beg him to lend me his digital camera so I don?t have to spend my non-existent cash on one. My brother has many cool gadgets although I?m not stupid enough to ask to borrow his ipod. He?d never lend me it for one thing and also it is full of rubbish music which I hate. Although he has lent me his grotty unkempt silver 3-door fiesta a few times before. For which of course I am very grateful. I will be leaving his house well before the football starts so I can try to tick off a few things on my to-do list, which continues to grow ? and so I don?t have to watch the football.
Twenty minutes to go, thank god. Then I have 7 more ?working? days left.
Last night as I sat in the tiny office at the Etc drinking Cava and being entertained by M&Z?s well-rehearsed dance routine to Spandau Ballet?s ?Gold?(I swear that?s all they do all day), I noticed I had a missed call from a certain ?immature? Irish comedian. I called him back on the number he?d called me on and after a few rounds of ?hello?s, he asked me if I knew who it was, which of course I did cos my clever phone had told me and I wouldn?t have called back if I hadn?t known who it was. It was only later on last night that I realised that he?d called me from his land-line which I have programmed in my phone? I can only presume that he has called me on it a while ago and I saved it into my phone so I could monitor any future calls? which is what happened last night. So it wasn?t me having fantastic voice recognition skills (although the accent is a bit of a give away), it was me using my initiative and saving all unknown numbers, which call me, into my phone. I hope that has cleared things up for everyone. Oh, and the news is that the most famous man in the world said he would ?maybe? perform at the Ministry of Comedy. Fingers Crossed.
I have worn my lovely new boots literally every day since I first wore them into work. They are great. I don?t care if no-one else agrees. Certainly no-one I?ve shown them too seems even half as excited about them as me. Strange. Maybe none of my friends are as materialistic as me, not that I am materialistic, I just love my boots. Oh god, the guy opposite me asked how I was (including my name in the question) and I pondered for a while and all I could muster up was an ?alright?. Not even ?alright, thanks, how about you?? I hate it here. I can?t be myself. I have to be very quiet and sit and behave myself and be bored but I do get paid quite well for my precious time. I just heard my supervisor going on at Adam about me having not done some email amendment or other and Adam proclaiming my innocence and that I had done it ages ago but sent it on to someone else to verify as our supervisor had swanned off somewhere. I don?t like people referring to me as ?she? when I am easily within ear-shot. I think it?s very rude. But he is a very strange man. He worked in Singapore for a few years and brought a wife back when he came back to England and it sounds like she?s his personal slave. Poor woman. He has no sense of humour whatsoever. And relax. I?m not a celebrity? GET ME OUT OF HERE!!
I have worn my lovely new boots literally every day since I first wore them into work. They are great. I don?t care if no-one else agrees. Certainly no-one I?ve shown them too seems even half as excited about them as me. Strange. Maybe none of my friends are as materialistic as me, not that I am materialistic, I just love my boots. Oh god, the guy opposite me asked how I was (including my name in the question) and I pondered for a while and all I could muster up was an ?alright?. Not even ?alright, thanks, how about you?? I hate it here. I can?t be myself. I have to be very quiet and sit and behave myself and be bored but I do get paid quite well for my precious time. I just heard my supervisor going on at Adam about me having not done some email amendment or other and Adam proclaiming my innocence and that I had done it ages ago but sent it on to someone else to verify as our supervisor had swanned off somewhere. I don?t like people referring to me as ?she? when I am easily within ear-shot. I think it?s very rude. But he is a very strange man. He worked in Singapore for a few years and brought a wife back when he came back to England and it sounds like she?s his personal slave. Poor woman. He has no sense of humour whatsoever. And relax. I?m not a celebrity? GET ME OUT OF HERE!!
I am bloody exhausted again this morning. My own fault but I did get the last train home and did only have a few glasses of Cava and two pints and at least I am out of my hibernation phase and acting more like a twenty*ahem* year old. Predictably late to work this morning (only 20 mins) but just as well cos its kicking off at work, but again it has nowt to do with me and therefore proves that when it has happened in the past it wasn?t my fault cos it is happening again now? (that will make sense to me when I read it back). But then do I really care anyway. No. Feeling a bit queasy today and I noticed this morning that I am covered in bruises again, presumably from the weekend. My only guess is that these are wine-related. I also have a bit of a stiff neck again, this time down the left of my neck, just for a bit of variety. I think this has arisen from me trying to sleep on my back/side when we all know I have to sleep on my front. God knows how I got any sleep at all although I suspect I didn?t. Still at least I didn?t have to get up at 8am on a Sunday after getting to bed at about 4.30/5am.
I still haven?t sent my timesheet in from the week before last and have only got last week?s signed so now my bank balance is looking very unhealthy indeed and I am feeling quite poor. Especially with the ?40 I somehow managed to spend on Saturday night. And I doubt I?ll get my timesheets sent in time to be paid this Friday. Oh well. It?s not like I ever use actual cash for anything anyway. And I?ll feel rich when I get three weeks worth in one go, which is probably a bad thing.
Our fortnight is panning out quite well. Here?s a rough outline so far.
Saturday
8.21pm Sharon arrives into Euston
Meet my bro and Sam for quick birthday drink and see what comedy is on nearby.
Sunday
8pm Sunday Club @ H&C starring Club Seals and the Consultants
Monday
Hopefully David Gray. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that I win tickets or we will both cry uncontrollably.
Tuesday
2pm Interview with top comedy performer.
Evening ? Possibly Alex Horne?s new show if it?s on.
Wednesday
2pm ? Another interview this time with a group of top comedy performers.
7pm ? Ministry of Comedy @ UCL followed by mammoth night out.
Thursday
Recover from mammoth night out.
Possibly another interview with another top comedy performer.
8pm ? Ealing Live
Friday
Possibly another morning at Xfm if we can stand the thought of getting up that early ? I suspect not.
10am ? Terry & Gaby recording (that?s right, look impressed)
Afternoon ? Interview with top comedy performer-ess
Saturday
Noon - set off for Dublin.
Sunday
10am - collect car and drive to Galway.
Monday / Tuesday
Yet to make plans
Wednesday
Drive back to Dublin
Thursday
10am ? return car.
7pm ? Aqualung @ Whelans
Friday
8pm ? Joe Rooney @ Vicar Street
Saturday / Sunday
Yet to make plans
Monday
Susan to head home alone in tears.
8pm ? Aqualung @ Shepherds Bush Empire
Tuesday
Susan and Sharon to look for more dull temp jobs to last until the end of July. But let?s look on the bright side, we can both lay in.
So there you have it, and you will probably be able to read all about it on the Comedy Lounge blog seeings how we will be together and presumably won?t ever be far away from a computer. Tempted to call the car rental place now I?ve booked it and specify a preference for a 2.0 litre Vectra, ideally dark blue. I meant to point out that there was one driving round Albert Square on Eastenders the other night but I must have realised no-one would be interested. I got a bit over excited and said ?Vectra!? out loud. I was the only one in the room. I need to get this obsession under control, especially as I will never own one and may never even drive one again.
Yet again I am painfully bored today. It is nearly twelve and I am starving, possibly due to not eating dinner last night and drinking beer instead, so I?ll probably nip out and see if I can slyly sit at my desk til about 1.30pm, and swan around on the net and as long as everyone thinks I am having my lunch then it?ll be fine. You get to learn how far you can push things when you?re temping. Ultimately because you are bored and don?t give two hoots if you get sacked. I am aiming to get in on time tomorrow though.
I got an email from play.com saying that they didn?t receive as many copies of the Limited Edition of the Franz Ferdinand album as they were expecting (chinny recon) and that I should cancel my order and get it somewhere else. The cheek of it. I have asked Kathryn if she can get me one seeings she is working in the biggest HMV in the country at the moment and gets 30% discount. Play.com have given me 10% off my next order which is nice of them, so long as I manage to get hold of a copy of Franz Ferdinand. I don?t want to have to go into a real shop and physically pay for it ? this is the year 2004, not 1992, I want to get it online while I?m sat on my arse so it arrives through my letterbox a few days later so I haven?t had to move my lazy backside at all. That is the way of the future. I am like Nostradamus. On Berocca.
I have been told my blog has been pornographic of late. I think not. Its hardly Sex and the City. Unfortunately.
I still haven?t sent my timesheet in from the week before last and have only got last week?s signed so now my bank balance is looking very unhealthy indeed and I am feeling quite poor. Especially with the ?40 I somehow managed to spend on Saturday night. And I doubt I?ll get my timesheets sent in time to be paid this Friday. Oh well. It?s not like I ever use actual cash for anything anyway. And I?ll feel rich when I get three weeks worth in one go, which is probably a bad thing.
Our fortnight is panning out quite well. Here?s a rough outline so far.
Saturday
8.21pm Sharon arrives into Euston
Meet my bro and Sam for quick birthday drink and see what comedy is on nearby.
Sunday
8pm Sunday Club @ H&C starring Club Seals and the Consultants
Monday
Hopefully David Gray. Everyone keep your fingers crossed that I win tickets or we will both cry uncontrollably.
Tuesday
2pm Interview with top comedy performer.
Evening ? Possibly Alex Horne?s new show if it?s on.
Wednesday
2pm ? Another interview this time with a group of top comedy performers.
7pm ? Ministry of Comedy @ UCL followed by mammoth night out.
Thursday
Recover from mammoth night out.
Possibly another interview with another top comedy performer.
8pm ? Ealing Live
Friday
Possibly another morning at Xfm if we can stand the thought of getting up that early ? I suspect not.
10am ? Terry & Gaby recording (that?s right, look impressed)
Afternoon ? Interview with top comedy performer-ess
Saturday
Noon - set off for Dublin.
Sunday
10am - collect car and drive to Galway.
Monday / Tuesday
Yet to make plans
Wednesday
Drive back to Dublin
Thursday
10am ? return car.
7pm ? Aqualung @ Whelans
Friday
8pm ? Joe Rooney @ Vicar Street
Saturday / Sunday
Yet to make plans
Monday
Susan to head home alone in tears.
8pm ? Aqualung @ Shepherds Bush Empire
Tuesday
Susan and Sharon to look for more dull temp jobs to last until the end of July. But let?s look on the bright side, we can both lay in.
So there you have it, and you will probably be able to read all about it on the Comedy Lounge blog seeings how we will be together and presumably won?t ever be far away from a computer. Tempted to call the car rental place now I?ve booked it and specify a preference for a 2.0 litre Vectra, ideally dark blue. I meant to point out that there was one driving round Albert Square on Eastenders the other night but I must have realised no-one would be interested. I got a bit over excited and said ?Vectra!? out loud. I was the only one in the room. I need to get this obsession under control, especially as I will never own one and may never even drive one again.
Yet again I am painfully bored today. It is nearly twelve and I am starving, possibly due to not eating dinner last night and drinking beer instead, so I?ll probably nip out and see if I can slyly sit at my desk til about 1.30pm, and swan around on the net and as long as everyone thinks I am having my lunch then it?ll be fine. You get to learn how far you can push things when you?re temping. Ultimately because you are bored and don?t give two hoots if you get sacked. I am aiming to get in on time tomorrow though.
I got an email from play.com saying that they didn?t receive as many copies of the Limited Edition of the Franz Ferdinand album as they were expecting (chinny recon) and that I should cancel my order and get it somewhere else. The cheek of it. I have asked Kathryn if she can get me one seeings she is working in the biggest HMV in the country at the moment and gets 30% discount. Play.com have given me 10% off my next order which is nice of them, so long as I manage to get hold of a copy of Franz Ferdinand. I don?t want to have to go into a real shop and physically pay for it ? this is the year 2004, not 1992, I want to get it online while I?m sat on my arse so it arrives through my letterbox a few days later so I haven?t had to move my lazy backside at all. That is the way of the future. I am like Nostradamus. On Berocca.
I have been told my blog has been pornographic of late. I think not. Its hardly Sex and the City. Unfortunately.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
I want to go but no-one will come with me… (not that I have really asked around, I just know not to bother!)
I’ve actully had quite a busy day. I was half an hour late this morning and I haven’t had a chance to do all that much cos I had to sit with the new old woman this morning to keep an eye on her and I have reassessed her age and am putting her at at least 45 years old. I didn’t even have time to get my breakfast cup of tea. Gutted. Today I have been mostly writing about the Boosh for the soon to be revamped site, writing for Comedy Lounge and also arranging interviews for London and Dublin. So far our London week is looking really busy and I don’t think we’re even going to have time to see Jerry Springer the Opera for £25, although the cheap tickets aren’t very good – it’d be where I sat at the West End premiere, which wasn’t ideal. We can only go on the Friday night and that might prove difficult if we can’t get to the half price ticket booth before the rest of London that day (we are going to the recording of the Terry & Gaby show – get in!!)
I went to the post office to send Sharon’s Holyhead to London train ticket and met up with Keith and Russell quickly before dashing back to pick up the pieces that the new old lady had left. Then more writing stuff (its not bad getting paid to sit and write nonsense, although I sense that’s not actually what I am being paid to do).
Trying to find out when Alex Horne is on when Sharon is over, and am hoping its not on the same night as the Ministry of Comedy cos obviously I can’t miss that, which reminds me I really should call Alex… so much to do so little time.
Michelle’s birthday bash tonight – David is supposed to be coming but I bet he backs out, he really is quite useless and predictable most of the time. Still, I’ll know enough people and I’ll get to see the new improved Bad Play, which is brilliant. Not sure whether to go to the Chortle awards on Monday though. Nice mum won’t be going this time and they kept me and Donna entertained last time. To be more precise, Dave kept Donna very entertained and vice versa and I seem to remember helping H get Adam B in a cab, dropping him home then staying at her flat before crawling into JPMorgan late the next morning. So it was quite eventful. Ealing is a bit out of my way but if M&Z are going then I shall probably show my face and see if I can rope in a few more comics to let us interview them.
Hour and a half until I can get my gladrags on (jeans) and waste some time before going over to the Etc and inevitably receive a call from David saying he can’t come. Although I’ve just now got an email saying we’re still on and he’ll update me with what time he can get out. I daresay it’ll be around 9pm – or is that a bit too sceptical of me.
My friend sent me an even better version of the penguin hitting game but I’ve not had a chance to look at it just yet. I am very excited to find out if it’s any good though and I gather you can whack him a lot further than in the other version.
I’ve actully had quite a busy day. I was half an hour late this morning and I haven’t had a chance to do all that much cos I had to sit with the new old woman this morning to keep an eye on her and I have reassessed her age and am putting her at at least 45 years old. I didn’t even have time to get my breakfast cup of tea. Gutted. Today I have been mostly writing about the Boosh for the soon to be revamped site, writing for Comedy Lounge and also arranging interviews for London and Dublin. So far our London week is looking really busy and I don’t think we’re even going to have time to see Jerry Springer the Opera for £25, although the cheap tickets aren’t very good – it’d be where I sat at the West End premiere, which wasn’t ideal. We can only go on the Friday night and that might prove difficult if we can’t get to the half price ticket booth before the rest of London that day (we are going to the recording of the Terry & Gaby show – get in!!)
I went to the post office to send Sharon’s Holyhead to London train ticket and met up with Keith and Russell quickly before dashing back to pick up the pieces that the new old lady had left. Then more writing stuff (its not bad getting paid to sit and write nonsense, although I sense that’s not actually what I am being paid to do).
Trying to find out when Alex Horne is on when Sharon is over, and am hoping its not on the same night as the Ministry of Comedy cos obviously I can’t miss that, which reminds me I really should call Alex… so much to do so little time.
Michelle’s birthday bash tonight – David is supposed to be coming but I bet he backs out, he really is quite useless and predictable most of the time. Still, I’ll know enough people and I’ll get to see the new improved Bad Play, which is brilliant. Not sure whether to go to the Chortle awards on Monday though. Nice mum won’t be going this time and they kept me and Donna entertained last time. To be more precise, Dave kept Donna very entertained and vice versa and I seem to remember helping H get Adam B in a cab, dropping him home then staying at her flat before crawling into JPMorgan late the next morning. So it was quite eventful. Ealing is a bit out of my way but if M&Z are going then I shall probably show my face and see if I can rope in a few more comics to let us interview them.
Hour and a half until I can get my gladrags on (jeans) and waste some time before going over to the Etc and inevitably receive a call from David saying he can’t come. Although I’ve just now got an email saying we’re still on and he’ll update me with what time he can get out. I daresay it’ll be around 9pm – or is that a bit too sceptical of me.
My friend sent me an even better version of the penguin hitting game but I’ve not had a chance to look at it just yet. I am very excited to find out if it’s any good though and I gather you can whack him a lot further than in the other version.
Monday, February 16, 2004
There is a new man who has started today and is at my old desk and I have spent the last hour trying to decide whether I think he?s a twat or not. In fact, yes he is. As far as I gather he worked here a while ago and then went off travelling. He?s one of those types who likes to use your name as often as possible when speaking to you. I must admit I am becoming a bit bitter and twisted and thoroughly pissed off with most people here, except my team, who now sit behind me. The sooner I am out of here the better. I might even wear my new jeans on my last day? what can they do? Sack me? I think not. I spose they could refuse to sign my time sheet but that would be silly. I wonder if they?ll get me a card or anything. I?ll buy cakes for my team but everyone else can bugger off. Bah humbug. I?m not buying cakes for 50 people, that?ll clean me out. Half an hour to go? I really should go and check the printer cos I know for a fact that it has stopped again but I really am past caring.
Well this is a lot of fun. I have moved desks yet again and have had to get all my applications (most importantly, Lotus notes) set up again and I have no phone, so that’s handy. My keyboard is really old and stiff so you can hear me typing really loudly and my computer should be in a museum that displays very old, rubbish and useless pieces of electrical equipment. It also screams and screeches really loudly when I am on the internet which is, as you know, most of the day. I have arse all to do at the moment as Helen is taking her stuff back every morning to show the poor new lady how to do her job. Its one thing me doing that shite but if I were 40 years old and doing it then that would be depressing. I’m a temp, I expect to do whatever’s thrown at me.
It’s nearly 2pm and it is nearly time for me to have stuff to do so I will waffle on for a bit until then. Here is a censored version of my Valentines night. I went out for drinks with Sally, someone else turned up, we went drinking and dancing and I didn’t make it home. That is a very long story cut incredibly short. It was a really funny night, I was out with 10 other girls which is the most girls I think I have ever seen in one place – except for at school. They were 50% ausies and 50% scots so I was there representing England and getting slowly drunk on wine. I was coming to terms with the fact that I’d have to stay in but then I decided to send a text to everyone in my phone who is single and got a couple of responses which resulted in me leaving the house and having one of the best Saturday nights out I’ve had for ages and certainly the best Valentines day. I went shopping and spent a fair few quid on the old credit card. Finally got a pair of jeans, which of course gape around my waist and just about fit over my thighs, but they were the first pair I tried on to my utter surprise and delight. So maybe I found them cos I was in the right frame of mind for trying on all of the jeans in the borough of Bromley. I spent Sunday making my sorry way home and then trying to sleep and watching Coronation Street and being on the phone to Sharon. My mum came into my room while we were on the phone but I only had shorts and a vest top on so yelled for her not to come in so I could get back under the duvet but it was too late and as I scrambled under the sheets I can only presume my mum thought me and Sharon were having phone sex or something along those lines. If only my mum would keep her stupid nose out of my business and more importantly, my bedroom. Although she can think what the hell she likes, it makes it all the more entertaining when Sharon comes to stay.
We’re in the process of arranging interviews for when Sharon’s over and for when I’m in Dublin and we’re planning our mini-jaunt to Galway too. All in all its going to cost us about £75 each for travel and accommodation plus whatever we spend in petrol. How exciting, I get to drive another swanky car and this time Sharon gets to come along for the ride too! She can be in charge of music and entertainment although hopefully I will have stereo controls on the steering wheel so I can undermine her authority if I get bored, although I should think it’ll be David Gray and Aqualung all the way but I will have to insist on a bit of Blur. And we are going to visit Father Ted’s parochial house cos we have done our detective work and found some directions to it. How sad are we!? It’s going to be hilarious. I am going to spend more of my non-existent cash on a digital camera so we can upload pictures onto the site more quickly and easily.
I note with interest that there is some wonky, drunk handwriting in my diary telling me that “Luke & Stella” and “Making Fish Laugh” are on at the Canal Café tonight. It’s the last ever performance of Alex Horne’s show which is very upsetting indeed but we must let go and embrace the new show with just as much love. I fear I am too tired to not go immediately home after work tonight and I have lots to sort out in terms of my severe lack of cash and imminent status of unemployment. Tomorrow is Michelle’s cava reception for her b’day and then we are seeing Bad Play, which I am really looking forward to. Then on Wednesday I am supposedly going to my brother’s for dinner (not convinced I will feel up to it after Michelle’s drinks) after another agency appointment after work, and then on Thursday I am hopefully seeing Karen. I say hopefully cos we always pick a date, write it down and then forget about it cos we are useless. The last time I saw Karen was at the Benefit night I did with Laura back in June/July.
Man, I’m bored.
It’s nearly 2pm and it is nearly time for me to have stuff to do so I will waffle on for a bit until then. Here is a censored version of my Valentines night. I went out for drinks with Sally, someone else turned up, we went drinking and dancing and I didn’t make it home. That is a very long story cut incredibly short. It was a really funny night, I was out with 10 other girls which is the most girls I think I have ever seen in one place – except for at school. They were 50% ausies and 50% scots so I was there representing England and getting slowly drunk on wine. I was coming to terms with the fact that I’d have to stay in but then I decided to send a text to everyone in my phone who is single and got a couple of responses which resulted in me leaving the house and having one of the best Saturday nights out I’ve had for ages and certainly the best Valentines day. I went shopping and spent a fair few quid on the old credit card. Finally got a pair of jeans, which of course gape around my waist and just about fit over my thighs, but they were the first pair I tried on to my utter surprise and delight. So maybe I found them cos I was in the right frame of mind for trying on all of the jeans in the borough of Bromley. I spent Sunday making my sorry way home and then trying to sleep and watching Coronation Street and being on the phone to Sharon. My mum came into my room while we were on the phone but I only had shorts and a vest top on so yelled for her not to come in so I could get back under the duvet but it was too late and as I scrambled under the sheets I can only presume my mum thought me and Sharon were having phone sex or something along those lines. If only my mum would keep her stupid nose out of my business and more importantly, my bedroom. Although she can think what the hell she likes, it makes it all the more entertaining when Sharon comes to stay.
We’re in the process of arranging interviews for when Sharon’s over and for when I’m in Dublin and we’re planning our mini-jaunt to Galway too. All in all its going to cost us about £75 each for travel and accommodation plus whatever we spend in petrol. How exciting, I get to drive another swanky car and this time Sharon gets to come along for the ride too! She can be in charge of music and entertainment although hopefully I will have stereo controls on the steering wheel so I can undermine her authority if I get bored, although I should think it’ll be David Gray and Aqualung all the way but I will have to insist on a bit of Blur. And we are going to visit Father Ted’s parochial house cos we have done our detective work and found some directions to it. How sad are we!? It’s going to be hilarious. I am going to spend more of my non-existent cash on a digital camera so we can upload pictures onto the site more quickly and easily.
I note with interest that there is some wonky, drunk handwriting in my diary telling me that “Luke & Stella” and “Making Fish Laugh” are on at the Canal Café tonight. It’s the last ever performance of Alex Horne’s show which is very upsetting indeed but we must let go and embrace the new show with just as much love. I fear I am too tired to not go immediately home after work tonight and I have lots to sort out in terms of my severe lack of cash and imminent status of unemployment. Tomorrow is Michelle’s cava reception for her b’day and then we are seeing Bad Play, which I am really looking forward to. Then on Wednesday I am supposedly going to my brother’s for dinner (not convinced I will feel up to it after Michelle’s drinks) after another agency appointment after work, and then on Thursday I am hopefully seeing Karen. I say hopefully cos we always pick a date, write it down and then forget about it cos we are useless. The last time I saw Karen was at the Benefit night I did with Laura back in June/July.
Man, I’m bored.
Friday, February 13, 2004
These insoles are quite odd. They are quite thick so there?s a bit of an unwanted gradient going on between my heel and the ball of my foot. Apparently they are washable so that?s good news. I will certainly try to get ?11 worth of wear out of the bastards. Bored bored bored. 37 minutes to go and then it is the WEEKEND ? yay. I just checked my bank balance and realised I forgot to send my time sheet off for last week so I?ve not been paid. But the good news is that in my little spreadsheet I haven?t accounted for this extra week I am now due so I might have something like ?100 to my name when I leave. That is splendid. God, I?m bored. What else can I waffle on about..? It is going to be funny when me and Sharon see each other for the first time in a few weeks time. We?ve both died our hair a different colour ? in fact, I?m not completely sure what colour Sharon?s hair is at the moment and Sharon will get to see my natural colour hair for the first time since we?ve known each other ? which is quite a long time now given that we are coming up to our sixth consecutive Edinburgh festival. And I never know how long her hair is going to be either. I remember one time Sharon waited for me outside my work and I ran down the escalator and hardly recognised her. She had a carrott top and her hair was the longest I?ve ever seen it ? which is still only just above nose level. It?s always really funny when we meet up in person. And it is funny that despite us living in different countries, separated by the sea, we still feel like we see each other more. We speak to each other a stupid amount and constantly email and text each other so it?s a bit of a novelty when we actually get together. Cos I?ve never been to see Sharon in Dublin (she only ever used to be there for Xmas), Sharon?s mum and dad haven?t had the pleasure of playing host to two shrieking, giggling girls before. She?ll be the envy of all her friends. My parents are well used to it. In fact, my mum is desperately hoping that me and Sharon are an item. As I have said before, my mum is like Edina from off of Ab Fab.
It is going to be a great fortnight though. We are going to call it LoungeFest. I can?t wait for her to come to the UCL gig, and we can go drinking afterwards cos we won?t have to get up ? and we can do things during the day for a change cos normally I am working, but I won?t be. Its going to be heartbreaking when I have to get on the ferry on my own at Dunleary for the long lonely journey home. *Sigh*
It is going to be a great fortnight though. We are going to call it LoungeFest. I can?t wait for her to come to the UCL gig, and we can go drinking afterwards cos we won?t have to get up ? and we can do things during the day for a change cos normally I am working, but I won?t be. Its going to be heartbreaking when I have to get on the ferry on my own at Dunleary for the long lonely journey home. *Sigh*
I went to Boots to get some insoles for my shoes and picked up some nice looking gel ones for my heels. For some reason I was under the impression that they were about ?2.60 so got a bit of a shock when they came up as being ?11 odd. I didn?t say anything cos it?d taken me ages to pick them and they were the only ones specifically for heels. They look bizarre so they?d better be bloody good or I will be dusting down the old complaint letter template to Mr. Boots.
I am hearing hefty rumours backed up with actual evidence that Stewart Graham Lee might be going to the Edinburgh Festival this year which would be absolutely spectacular and we would be very very happy indeed. The festival is always more enjoyable with the presence of a comedy lounge icon of our time. We just need the other one to come up too so we can finally reunite the double act. It?d be nice if the Mary Whitehouse team could put all their differences behind them and reform while we?re at it. I don?t think that?s too much to ask.
I am going to see Jeremy Lions tonight with Kathryn. It should be fantastic and I?m really looking forward to seeing it again and seeing how he?s redone the show for the radio. Kathryn is unspeakably excited, bless her. My plans for tomorrow are far more sketchy. I am planning some shopping therapy for late morning, early afternoon but I really feel like going out tomorrow night to see some comedy away from stupid happy couples and all reminders of Valentines day. I might just save myself for the Sunday club at the Hen and Chickens instead cos then I get to see Club Seals who I like a lot. I am sick of Valentines day already and it isn?t even 14 Feb yet. Me and Kathryn are going to mosey around Canary Wharf for half an hour or so after work which should be a lot of fun. Hopoefully the beeb will be more organised this evening and the doors won?t open over half an hour late again. The bar in drill hall is tiny and gets bloody toasty when it is full of people who think the doors are about to open. There are always people who bring packed lunches with them and make a big day out out of it all. I am going to join them cos I have bought a cheese scone from M&S to tide me over before I get home and eat. Another little fascinating insight into my life for you there. I really must stop writing bits which acknowledge that other people read this. I am thinking I might make this a personal diary so its not on the public doman, but that probably costs a fortune and I would hate to deny you reading about my fascinating life.
I am hearing hefty rumours backed up with actual evidence that Stewart Graham Lee might be going to the Edinburgh Festival this year which would be absolutely spectacular and we would be very very happy indeed. The festival is always more enjoyable with the presence of a comedy lounge icon of our time. We just need the other one to come up too so we can finally reunite the double act. It?d be nice if the Mary Whitehouse team could put all their differences behind them and reform while we?re at it. I don?t think that?s too much to ask.
I am going to see Jeremy Lions tonight with Kathryn. It should be fantastic and I?m really looking forward to seeing it again and seeing how he?s redone the show for the radio. Kathryn is unspeakably excited, bless her. My plans for tomorrow are far more sketchy. I am planning some shopping therapy for late morning, early afternoon but I really feel like going out tomorrow night to see some comedy away from stupid happy couples and all reminders of Valentines day. I might just save myself for the Sunday club at the Hen and Chickens instead cos then I get to see Club Seals who I like a lot. I am sick of Valentines day already and it isn?t even 14 Feb yet. Me and Kathryn are going to mosey around Canary Wharf for half an hour or so after work which should be a lot of fun. Hopoefully the beeb will be more organised this evening and the doors won?t open over half an hour late again. The bar in drill hall is tiny and gets bloody toasty when it is full of people who think the doors are about to open. There are always people who bring packed lunches with them and make a big day out out of it all. I am going to join them cos I have bought a cheese scone from M&S to tide me over before I get home and eat. Another little fascinating insight into my life for you there. I really must stop writing bits which acknowledge that other people read this. I am thinking I might make this a personal diary so its not on the public doman, but that probably costs a fortune and I would hate to deny you reading about my fascinating life.
This morning has gone quite quickly but has been a bit of a nightmare. Well it would have been more of a nightmare if I actually cared about doing this job properly and cared about what people here think of me, but I don’t cos they are all patronising gits and I am only here for the money. SWIFT messages have been going missing and printers have been buggering up and reports not printing but luckily the major issue at the moment is a message which has been logged and not signed for. However, it wasn’t me that logged it cos I overslept on the morning in question so it is someone else’s fault. Har har har. Everything is going tits up but I really don’t care and am planning just to deny everything. Not that I have really done anything wrong. I’ve maybe just been a bit lax. Anyway, as we established yesterday I have hardly any time left here and I don’t want to work in a bank. Its not good.
I have news. Now, I ‘m not sure how it happened or who’s idea it was but during a two hour phone call last night and with the unsupervised use of the internet and a mobile phone we booked Sharon a single from London to Dublin on the same train as me (£16) and also a single on the ferry from Dublin to Holyhead (EUR 25) and then a single down to London for the 28 February (£14). I think it all stemmed from us talking about my forthcoming visit to Dublin and that we had no solid plans for Sharon to come over to London – it was just too cheap not to book. I think Sharon may have innocently suggested that she should come back with me for the week after the Dublin jaunt and then we realised that if she came the week before then that would encompass the David Gray gig at the Barfly and also the Ministry of Comedy at UCL at which our good friends niCe mUm will be doing an open spot and at which I get a bar tab and swan around like I own the place. I got on the phone to Virgin and in the matter of an hour or so I had booked tickets for Sharon and plans were already underway for who we could interview and what we can get up to. So Sharon arrives the day after my long-awaited final day at Northern Trust and then we have two weeks of no work, which means it will be pretty impossible for me to find a new temp job before leaving here so will probably not work again until the end of March at the very earliest. Good. It is going to be fantastic. Even if we don’t get tickets for David Gray, we are going to mosey around and cry and convince someone to let us in. Otherwise “Luke & Stella” is on somewhere in London so we will go and see that to cheer ourselves up. Although we WILL be going to see David Gray. So we have a week of immense fun in London and then we get to travel back to Ireland together for just over a week, including a jaunt to Galway and an Aqualung gig and we can start work on the Father Ted issue that has eluded us for so long. It’s the first time for ages I’ve really looked forward to something. But then Sharon hasn’t been over for almost a year. We are rubbish really. It’ll have been six months to the day that we have seen each other when Sharon comes over.
Missed the lady with the dogs again this morning.
I have fixed the problem of my boots causing me agony. I have put plasters over my stupid bony ankle where it has been rubbing and it seems to have done the trick. Do need to get proper insoles for them though but that’s not a problem, so the good news is that my boots actually fit properly and are comfy. And I love them. Probably a bit too much given that they are just a pair of boots. As I said to Sharon last night, I’d rather have a pair of boots than a boyfriend. And I’d rather have a kick in the head than a boyfriend. Sharon agreed. We must seem like a real pair of man-haters, but we’re really not. We do really like boys. Some more than others, in fact in our time we have been known to compile lists of various descriptions. Kathryn has a similar list but hers has a lot more stars next to people’s names than ours. I’ll stop there or you might get the wrong idea if you haven’t already.
I don’t think I mentioned yesterday that I got an anti-Valentines card. Some of you might have seen that I did in fact mention it yesterday but I jumped to the wrong conclusion so took my comments down so as not to wrongly offend anyone and cause myself more grief. The guilty party emailed me and I now think I have positively identified the offender. Sadly, there are no more cards to report today – maybe tomorrow. I am sure my mum will wake me up at the crack of dawn if anything red arrives for me on the door mat. Me and Sharon were talking about Valentines day last night cos it has been the cause of a great amount of paranoia for both of us in the past. The idea of sending someone an anonymous card is strange. Particularly if you don’t intend that person ever find out. It is really quite spooky. We think maybe it should be banned. I do thank my friend of a friend for sending me a card – apologies for my minor bout of anger and paranoia. I haven’t sent any this year. I figured that if the person who I would have liked to have sent one to gets one then he will probably presume it’s from me anyway. So that saves me the price of a stamp! Although of course, I have already bought the card.
I have news. Now, I ‘m not sure how it happened or who’s idea it was but during a two hour phone call last night and with the unsupervised use of the internet and a mobile phone we booked Sharon a single from London to Dublin on the same train as me (£16) and also a single on the ferry from Dublin to Holyhead (EUR 25) and then a single down to London for the 28 February (£14). I think it all stemmed from us talking about my forthcoming visit to Dublin and that we had no solid plans for Sharon to come over to London – it was just too cheap not to book. I think Sharon may have innocently suggested that she should come back with me for the week after the Dublin jaunt and then we realised that if she came the week before then that would encompass the David Gray gig at the Barfly and also the Ministry of Comedy at UCL at which our good friends niCe mUm will be doing an open spot and at which I get a bar tab and swan around like I own the place. I got on the phone to Virgin and in the matter of an hour or so I had booked tickets for Sharon and plans were already underway for who we could interview and what we can get up to. So Sharon arrives the day after my long-awaited final day at Northern Trust and then we have two weeks of no work, which means it will be pretty impossible for me to find a new temp job before leaving here so will probably not work again until the end of March at the very earliest. Good. It is going to be fantastic. Even if we don’t get tickets for David Gray, we are going to mosey around and cry and convince someone to let us in. Otherwise “Luke & Stella” is on somewhere in London so we will go and see that to cheer ourselves up. Although we WILL be going to see David Gray. So we have a week of immense fun in London and then we get to travel back to Ireland together for just over a week, including a jaunt to Galway and an Aqualung gig and we can start work on the Father Ted issue that has eluded us for so long. It’s the first time for ages I’ve really looked forward to something. But then Sharon hasn’t been over for almost a year. We are rubbish really. It’ll have been six months to the day that we have seen each other when Sharon comes over.
Missed the lady with the dogs again this morning.
I have fixed the problem of my boots causing me agony. I have put plasters over my stupid bony ankle where it has been rubbing and it seems to have done the trick. Do need to get proper insoles for them though but that’s not a problem, so the good news is that my boots actually fit properly and are comfy. And I love them. Probably a bit too much given that they are just a pair of boots. As I said to Sharon last night, I’d rather have a pair of boots than a boyfriend. And I’d rather have a kick in the head than a boyfriend. Sharon agreed. We must seem like a real pair of man-haters, but we’re really not. We do really like boys. Some more than others, in fact in our time we have been known to compile lists of various descriptions. Kathryn has a similar list but hers has a lot more stars next to people’s names than ours. I’ll stop there or you might get the wrong idea if you haven’t already.
I don’t think I mentioned yesterday that I got an anti-Valentines card. Some of you might have seen that I did in fact mention it yesterday but I jumped to the wrong conclusion so took my comments down so as not to wrongly offend anyone and cause myself more grief. The guilty party emailed me and I now think I have positively identified the offender. Sadly, there are no more cards to report today – maybe tomorrow. I am sure my mum will wake me up at the crack of dawn if anything red arrives for me on the door mat. Me and Sharon were talking about Valentines day last night cos it has been the cause of a great amount of paranoia for both of us in the past. The idea of sending someone an anonymous card is strange. Particularly if you don’t intend that person ever find out. It is really quite spooky. We think maybe it should be banned. I do thank my friend of a friend for sending me a card – apologies for my minor bout of anger and paranoia. I haven’t sent any this year. I figured that if the person who I would have liked to have sent one to gets one then he will probably presume it’s from me anyway. So that saves me the price of a stamp! Although of course, I have already bought the card.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
I didn?t see the old lady with her dogs today. I must have missed her, she probably set off a bit earlier than usual or maybe her dogs kicked up the pace a bit. Almost as soon as I left the house I knew I was going to regret wearing my boots to work, or at least have some blisters to teach me a lesson. I haven?t polished them yet. I remember when I was little, my parents would never let me wear new shoes out unless they?d been polished. My parents have some very strange ways. They won?t let me get a dog either. Or a rabbit. Or even a teeny tiny mouse. Which Sharon has plenty of at the moment. But unfortunately not as pets.
Anyway. The Museum of Everything last night was absolutely brilliant. There are a few parts which particularly tickled us and so inevitably you will be able to hear Kathryn’s cackle and my high pitched laugh on the final edit. It was show 5 out of 6 if you’re taking notes and want to listen out for us. As we were waiting in the bar beforehand our eyes met Uncle Vinny’s across the crowded room. It was a bit weird cos I thought I saw him earlier when we got there but I didn’t – I am obviously some kind of mad psychic. He was talking about something very exciting which, if it happens, would be fantastic but even I’m not going to get my hopes up too much. Would spell the end of my banking career, even just for a short while, but that remains to be seen. Got home in time to see the repeat of Darkplace and it was really great. Matt Holness’ slow motion running was a joy to behold. That show is great. It’s like a who’s who of the Brookes bar during past festivals. I was on the phone to Sharon while it was on (don’t worry I have it taped) and as a result of seeing Kim Noble running away from a floating stapler we reminisced about the time we interviewed them and how brilliant they were and how much of a mess the pair of us were in by the end. In fact I might read back through that one cos it was such a brilliant interview.
Today I have taken the brave steps of wearing my new boots to work. Already just from my short journey to work I can tell you that the left one is fine, in fact it’s surprisingly comfortable, whereas the right one is absolute agony. The archy bit on the outside by my ankle is really digging in and I’ve had to put a gel insole under my heel cos there is something that feels like a ball-bearing digging into my sole. Other than that they are fine. I think I just need to wear them in and soften the leather up a bit. They are bloody sexy though. No-one can see them under my trousers so only I know how cool I really am. I want to wear them with a skirt so everyone can look upon their wonder and despair but I don’t really have any suitable length skirts to wear to work which would look nice with my boots.
Despite the day getting off to an angry and annoying start, I am determined to stay in a good mood today. I was supposed to be going to David’s for dinner tonight but he has an interview so we’ve postponed, which is just as well cos I am cultivating some really nice bags under my eyes at the moment, and it’d be really nice to get rid of them. And of course, Darkplace is on tonight. I heard an ad for it on XFM just as I was about to go through the Greenwich tunnel on the DLR. It’d be great if Garth Marenghi did the festival this year, although the chances of that happening are pretty slim.
Today I have taken the brave steps of wearing my new boots to work. Already just from my short journey to work I can tell you that the left one is fine, in fact it’s surprisingly comfortable, whereas the right one is absolute agony. The archy bit on the outside by my ankle is really digging in and I’ve had to put a gel insole under my heel cos there is something that feels like a ball-bearing digging into my sole. Other than that they are fine. I think I just need to wear them in and soften the leather up a bit. They are bloody sexy though. No-one can see them under my trousers so only I know how cool I really am. I want to wear them with a skirt so everyone can look upon their wonder and despair but I don’t really have any suitable length skirts to wear to work which would look nice with my boots.
Despite the day getting off to an angry and annoying start, I am determined to stay in a good mood today. I was supposed to be going to David’s for dinner tonight but he has an interview so we’ve postponed, which is just as well cos I am cultivating some really nice bags under my eyes at the moment, and it’d be really nice to get rid of them. And of course, Darkplace is on tonight. I heard an ad for it on XFM just as I was about to go through the Greenwich tunnel on the DLR. It’d be great if Garth Marenghi did the festival this year, although the chances of that happening are pretty slim.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
12 more “working” days until I am out of here. And the closer the end draws near the more chance there is that I’ll have some time off in between jobs, which I spose might make it easier to find a job if I don’t have to give a weeks notice. Although when I am at home I tend to avoid agency calls through fear of having to drag my lazy arse all the way into London especially for an interview for a job which I don’t really want to do, but would just for the sake of the month of fun we’ll be having at the Edinburgh Festival. It’s going to be our 6th consecutive visit. I feel quite old now. I was 22 when I first went. At least while I am working I am already in town and don’t have to give up my freedom cos I don’t have it at the moment. When I am at home it’s so enjoyable to do nothing and I am so good at it.
I really am becoming sick to death of doing this job now. It is unbelievable how patronising people are being just cos they presume I am as ditzy as the previous girl. I am having another mid-late twenties crisis. I can’t face another dead end banking job… oh why can’t I just be a teacher? I think I might consider it again. I’d never have to quit for the festival and even though I wouldn’t be able to follow David Gray round the world on a whim, I’d still get loads of time off school and after the first few years once I have lesson plans and everything sorted, it would get easier and easier. So long as I could teach in a nice school and not a rough one like my mum. I think I am going to look into it again. Even if I only did it for a few years, it would be a good qualification to have for the future.
I was just about warming to the woman I sit next to who is the supervisor of the desk I am sitting on and is a massive jobsworth and goody-two shoes until just now as I have been sorting out some bits of paper into departments, she pushed the papers back onto my desk cos they were infringing on about 2cm of her desk. There is nothing on her desk whatsoever. Petty. I think I might entertain myself over my remaining days by seeing how far across her desk I can push my bits of paper before she pushes them back again…
I really am becoming sick to death of doing this job now. It is unbelievable how patronising people are being just cos they presume I am as ditzy as the previous girl. I am having another mid-late twenties crisis. I can’t face another dead end banking job… oh why can’t I just be a teacher? I think I might consider it again. I’d never have to quit for the festival and even though I wouldn’t be able to follow David Gray round the world on a whim, I’d still get loads of time off school and after the first few years once I have lesson plans and everything sorted, it would get easier and easier. So long as I could teach in a nice school and not a rough one like my mum. I think I am going to look into it again. Even if I only did it for a few years, it would be a good qualification to have for the future.
I was just about warming to the woman I sit next to who is the supervisor of the desk I am sitting on and is a massive jobsworth and goody-two shoes until just now as I have been sorting out some bits of paper into departments, she pushed the papers back onto my desk cos they were infringing on about 2cm of her desk. There is nothing on her desk whatsoever. Petty. I think I might entertain myself over my remaining days by seeing how far across her desk I can push my bits of paper before she pushes them back again…
It’s only 9.30am and already I have had a heated debate with one of the idiots at the agency. He put me forward for a job at BoA, which we all know by now is in Bromley, after I said I wanted to see the job spec before deciding if I wanted to go for it. It’s a recs role, which I absolutely despise and its not for that much money so despite the fact that its close to my home, I wouldn’t really benefit that much. He was telling me it would be a good way of getting my foot in the door and, oh go on its only for a few months and it’d be really easy for you to get to. Twat. He wanted me to go for an interview at 7.30 IN THE MORNING. Which is totally out of the question, even if it was my dream job I’d be hard pushed to be awake at that time never mind dazzle everyone in an interview. So I told him it would be a waste of everyone’s time cos even if they did offer me it, which they wouldn’t, I wouldn’t take it cos I DON’T WANT TO DO RECS. Are these people deaf? So well done me for sticking up for myself.
Just heard from James at the agency about the interview last night. I didn’t get it which surprised me a lot but not once I heard the feedback they gave and now I am really f*cking offended.
I don’t have enough experience of income processing but they knew that already so that’s fine. But then I have a Maths degree, and a brain and it doesn’t take a genius to learn how to do one thing and then repeat it every day for a matter of weeks. Any fool can work in a bank.
They said they thought I was quite shy, wouldn’t open up and talk about myself (forgive me, I didn’t realise it was some kind of counselling session), which amazes me cos there were so many long pauses and I kept thinking to myself, “should I be talking here? I’m sure they didn’t ask me a question so presumably not”. They were just reading through my CV like they’d never seen it before trying to think of questions to ask. I’ll give them some bloody feedback, at least I was prepared.
Apparently I didn’t seem to think too well of past employers which is strange cos they never even asked me about my reasons for leaving previous employers or what I thought of my past roles. And at the end of the day I am temping and don’t really care who I work for.
They thought that coming from what I am doing now to their volumes would be a culture shock that I wouldn’t be able to cope with... Did I not say I would be happy with the hours especially if I actually had plenty to keep me busy!? For gods sake, I have a flaming Maths degree, I'm not thick and I have worked with high volumes before.
So I am very annoyed at the feedback, not that I didn’t get the job. They didn’t have a clue how to interview someone or put them at ease and to be honest i am relieved that I don’t have to get into London for 8.30am cos that would have involved getting up at 6.30am which lets face it wouldn’t have happened very often. And at least I don’t have to work 22 floors up in the air.
I think I am mostly annoyed that I have to stay here and do this shite for a bit longer. Oh well.
And oh joy, someone has just come over and patronised me again. I hate to keep harping on about it but I HAVE A DEGREE, I AM NOT HERE TO BE BLOODY PATRONISED BY TOTAL F*CKWITS WHO WILL BE STUCK DOING THE SAME JOB FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES WITH PROBABLY NOT MUCH OF A LIFE OUTSIDE WORK EITHER.
And breathe out….
On a lighter note, every morning for the past few years as I walk to the station in the morning, I pass the old lady who lives opposite and a few doors down from me, walking her two very old dogs and every morning we smile at each other. It’s quite nice to be smiled at first thing in the morning. I can tell how I am doing for time depending on where I pass her on my journey. If I don’t see her at all then I know I am running late and need to get a move on. One of her dogs wears a muzzle which is a bad sign although it looks so lethargic and old that I don’t think it would have the energy to bite anyone.
I am going to a recording of the Museum of Everything at Drill Hall tonight. Should be brilliant, I can’t wait. I will have to make a massive effort to remember to listen and record it whenever it’s on. Anything written by Danny, Dan and Marcus Brigstocke is brilliant. I wonder when it’s going to be aired and whether it’ll be nominated for a Sony… again, I am getting slightly ahead of myself. I also have tickets for Jeremy Lions Xmas show recording on Friday but I’m not sure if I can go.
God I am bored. I think I might have done something to the printer where I collect bit of paper to give to people. There are normally reams and reams to sort through at this time of the morning but there aren’t any at all. I think I might have accidentally switched it off and on which might have affected the connection or something. I don’t know and I don’t really care. As much as I hate doing it at least it gives me something to do. Although it is 11.30am already which is nice.
Just heard from James at the agency about the interview last night. I didn’t get it which surprised me a lot but not once I heard the feedback they gave and now I am really f*cking offended.
I don’t have enough experience of income processing but they knew that already so that’s fine. But then I have a Maths degree, and a brain and it doesn’t take a genius to learn how to do one thing and then repeat it every day for a matter of weeks. Any fool can work in a bank.
They said they thought I was quite shy, wouldn’t open up and talk about myself (forgive me, I didn’t realise it was some kind of counselling session), which amazes me cos there were so many long pauses and I kept thinking to myself, “should I be talking here? I’m sure they didn’t ask me a question so presumably not”. They were just reading through my CV like they’d never seen it before trying to think of questions to ask. I’ll give them some bloody feedback, at least I was prepared.
Apparently I didn’t seem to think too well of past employers which is strange cos they never even asked me about my reasons for leaving previous employers or what I thought of my past roles. And at the end of the day I am temping and don’t really care who I work for.
They thought that coming from what I am doing now to their volumes would be a culture shock that I wouldn’t be able to cope with... Did I not say I would be happy with the hours especially if I actually had plenty to keep me busy!? For gods sake, I have a flaming Maths degree, I'm not thick and I have worked with high volumes before.
So I am very annoyed at the feedback, not that I didn’t get the job. They didn’t have a clue how to interview someone or put them at ease and to be honest i am relieved that I don’t have to get into London for 8.30am cos that would have involved getting up at 6.30am which lets face it wouldn’t have happened very often. And at least I don’t have to work 22 floors up in the air.
I think I am mostly annoyed that I have to stay here and do this shite for a bit longer. Oh well.
And oh joy, someone has just come over and patronised me again. I hate to keep harping on about it but I HAVE A DEGREE, I AM NOT HERE TO BE BLOODY PATRONISED BY TOTAL F*CKWITS WHO WILL BE STUCK DOING THE SAME JOB FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES WITH PROBABLY NOT MUCH OF A LIFE OUTSIDE WORK EITHER.
And breathe out….
On a lighter note, every morning for the past few years as I walk to the station in the morning, I pass the old lady who lives opposite and a few doors down from me, walking her two very old dogs and every morning we smile at each other. It’s quite nice to be smiled at first thing in the morning. I can tell how I am doing for time depending on where I pass her on my journey. If I don’t see her at all then I know I am running late and need to get a move on. One of her dogs wears a muzzle which is a bad sign although it looks so lethargic and old that I don’t think it would have the energy to bite anyone.
I am going to a recording of the Museum of Everything at Drill Hall tonight. Should be brilliant, I can’t wait. I will have to make a massive effort to remember to listen and record it whenever it’s on. Anything written by Danny, Dan and Marcus Brigstocke is brilliant. I wonder when it’s going to be aired and whether it’ll be nominated for a Sony… again, I am getting slightly ahead of myself. I also have tickets for Jeremy Lions Xmas show recording on Friday but I’m not sure if I can go.
God I am bored. I think I might have done something to the printer where I collect bit of paper to give to people. There are normally reams and reams to sort through at this time of the morning but there aren’t any at all. I think I might have accidentally switched it off and on which might have affected the connection or something. I don’t know and I don’t really care. As much as I hate doing it at least it gives me something to do. Although it is 11.30am already which is nice.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
I think I might put a bit of lippy on for the interview this evening. Should just about have time and then I won?t have to explain to Pete why I?m not getting the DLR to Lewisham with him as is our normal routine. I reckon lipstick and a bit of blusher might swing it for me. I never really wear make up during the day. Its not that I don?t care about what I look like, of course I do to a certain extent, I?m just not one of those who has to trowel a new face on every time I leave the house. It?s too much effort for absolutely no reason. And it makes more of a difference the times that I actually do wear make up. Puts a bit of colour into my cheeks. I can?t wear mascara though, which is the one item of make up which most girls would take onto a desert island with them. I?d wear it if I could find one which was Boosh-resistant and if someone could teach me how to remember not to rub my eyes. And what I mean by that is that I can?t wear it cos I cry when I laugh and I get nice black streaks down my face, which isn?t a look which suits me. Again its too much hassle and I?d only end up looking like a Panda. So in summary, seeings as I would quite like this job to take me up to the festival, I will make an effort to make myself look slightly less pale than usual. This is how bored I am. I do hope there?s no-one I know reading this. In fact, I have no idea why there are some people who do read this nonsense regularly.
Poo bags. I have done a quick search on the internet and discovered that the building that I am going to for this interview is not only the 25th tallest building in London, but also was damaged in 1993 by and IRA bomb. Not that I am worried that it?ll happen again, I just hate high rise lifts and being high up away from the nice safe ground. So knowing my luck, I?ll get the job but it?ll be at the top of the building. I can?t be any higher up than 11 floors ? that is my personal best so far. Although at RBS we had to go up to the 17th floor to get to the canteen and that wasn?t too bad. I am such a baby. I?ve been emailing James who I used to work with at RBS so he can refresh my memory on income matters and mortgage-backed notes. It is all very confusing indeed but hopefully I can talk a load of rubbish and get away with it. I?ve just checked with my friend Sally who works at another location for Deutsche Bank and she reckons the guy interviewing me tonight works on the 22nd floor!!! Eek! I?ll just have to suss it out when I?m there, see what the lifts are like and how dizzy I get. That?s almost three times higher up than I am now, and twice as high up as I have ever worked.
I was watching a programme called Extreme Engineering the other day on the Discovery Channel and it was all about Sky City which they were planning to build in Japan but due to the threat of terrorism and people flying planes into tall buildings I don?t think it?ll ever happen, although they are going to have to do something about the ridiculous number of people living there which is due to increase at a stupid rate. It did look incredible though, to have a massive self-contained city in a really tall and wide skyscraper with gardens and everything and its own methods of transport. Would you live a mile up in the air? I bloody wouldn?t. I?d rather eat a fish eye. Which is saying something. There was another one, Transatlantic Tunnel which went on about having tunnels between Europe and America but not under the sea, through the sea. Now that is very very wrong and just asking for trouble. They are the only two in the series that I saw but looking at the titles of the other ones, I might see if the series is available on DVD. I can be quite a sad science geek sometimes.
I was watching a programme called Extreme Engineering the other day on the Discovery Channel and it was all about Sky City which they were planning to build in Japan but due to the threat of terrorism and people flying planes into tall buildings I don?t think it?ll ever happen, although they are going to have to do something about the ridiculous number of people living there which is due to increase at a stupid rate. It did look incredible though, to have a massive self-contained city in a really tall and wide skyscraper with gardens and everything and its own methods of transport. Would you live a mile up in the air? I bloody wouldn?t. I?d rather eat a fish eye. Which is saying something. There was another one, Transatlantic Tunnel which went on about having tunnels between Europe and America but not under the sea, through the sea. Now that is very very wrong and just asking for trouble. They are the only two in the series that I saw but looking at the titles of the other ones, I might see if the series is available on DVD. I can be quite a sad science geek sometimes.
Last night I took the situation into hand and booked my Rail and Sail ticket to Dublin. I am leaving Euston at around noon on Saturday 6 March and arriving just under 8 hours later in Ireland. I know that’s a long time but at least I will feel like I have actually travelled some distance and won’t have died in a plane crash. I am coming home on Monday 15 March, leaving Dunleary at 11am and getting into Euston at about 6ish and then I have to sort myself out and get to Shepherds Bush Empire to see Aqualung – who, of course, by this time we’ll be close personal friends of. So I am going to be away for over a week. We are thinking of hiring a car (ideally a Vectra if possible) and driving to Galway and Co.Clare so we can go and visit Craggy Island and be sad, pathetic Father Ted fans. Also Sharon has friends and family there so we can stay with them. It’s going to be so brilliant and there are only 25 days to go. We are trying to think of other things to do, obviously we will be lining up a few interviews with some lovely Oirish comedians and we will be seeing as much comedy as possible. We will probably just end up watching Fist of Fun and TMWRNJ and annoying people by being stupid and giggly. Not that I have a problem with that.
I have just found out that there are two identical roles which I am being interviewed for this evening and at this point I am the only person they are seeing, so it will be a spectacular feat if I manage not to get one of the positions – a feat which I believe I am more than capable of. Just you watch me. I went through a phase of being brilliant in interviews but the past few I have done have been absolute rubbish. The BoA one went quite well but the Schroeders one the other day didn’t go well at all. I do know the reasons why they’ve gone so badly so I have to make sure I do some preparation today, which shouldn’t be hard cos I have bugger all else to do. Must practice going through my CV and speaking confidently about what I did in each role and make sure it makes sense and relates to the job I am going for and try not to let on how boring I find banking. It’s all such a lot of nonsense just to find a temp – perhaps I should go back to admin/secretarial for the ease and lack of hassle, but then it doesn’t pay nearly half as well. I think sometimes I just can’t be arsed, but I must make sure I do this one properly. Apparently the man I am talking to is really nice. He’d better be.
Last night me and Sharon ended up watching the Bushtucker trials on IACGMOOF down the phone and screaming like a pair of girls every time a big spider came on the screen. But really really screaming loudly and jumping and being absolute twats. My mum came up at one point to see what all the fuss was about and somehow managed to guess that it was Sharon that I was on the phone to. I wonder how she worked that one out, she’s like Miss Marple or something. I am sure neither of us would have been quite so idiotic if we’d been watching it on our own. Cheg on. We am twats. I must say I was really impressed with Peter Andre getting into that tank with those spiders. I bloody wouldn’t have even if there were loads of people depending on me. I physically wouldn’t have been able to. Those spiders were MASSIVE and looked quite crunchy. And good on Jennie Bond too for eating all that shite, even the fish eye. I think she must have really wanted to win. I would actually rather die than have to eat a fish eye. In fact I’ve just made myself feel really sick.
I have just found out that there are two identical roles which I am being interviewed for this evening and at this point I am the only person they are seeing, so it will be a spectacular feat if I manage not to get one of the positions – a feat which I believe I am more than capable of. Just you watch me. I went through a phase of being brilliant in interviews but the past few I have done have been absolute rubbish. The BoA one went quite well but the Schroeders one the other day didn’t go well at all. I do know the reasons why they’ve gone so badly so I have to make sure I do some preparation today, which shouldn’t be hard cos I have bugger all else to do. Must practice going through my CV and speaking confidently about what I did in each role and make sure it makes sense and relates to the job I am going for and try not to let on how boring I find banking. It’s all such a lot of nonsense just to find a temp – perhaps I should go back to admin/secretarial for the ease and lack of hassle, but then it doesn’t pay nearly half as well. I think sometimes I just can’t be arsed, but I must make sure I do this one properly. Apparently the man I am talking to is really nice. He’d better be.
Last night me and Sharon ended up watching the Bushtucker trials on IACGMOOF down the phone and screaming like a pair of girls every time a big spider came on the screen. But really really screaming loudly and jumping and being absolute twats. My mum came up at one point to see what all the fuss was about and somehow managed to guess that it was Sharon that I was on the phone to. I wonder how she worked that one out, she’s like Miss Marple or something. I am sure neither of us would have been quite so idiotic if we’d been watching it on our own. Cheg on. We am twats. I must say I was really impressed with Peter Andre getting into that tank with those spiders. I bloody wouldn’t have even if there were loads of people depending on me. I physically wouldn’t have been able to. Those spiders were MASSIVE and looked quite crunchy. And good on Jennie Bond too for eating all that shite, even the fish eye. I think she must have really wanted to win. I would actually rather die than have to eat a fish eye. In fact I’ve just made myself feel really sick.