I fell asleep during Coronation Street last night and woke up half way through Monarch of the Glen – gutted. I stayed in especially. I wanted to go and see Alex, Tim & Mark and their extended sketch gang but it was doomed from the start of the weekend. Yesterday I had my first day off since coming back from Edinburgh and I think everything just hit me. I didn’t have a chance to do anything

Last night I successfully had a night out on the old tap waters. We went to the café and there must have been some kind of football match on cos there were literally no more than 18 people in the audience but it is normally packed. The line up advertised was MC Julia Morris, Al Pitcher, Gary Delaney, Andrew Clover and Rob Rouse, but in reality the first two were replaced by MC Drew Barr and Ninia Benjamin. Ninia was really great but I’m just not keen at all on Drew Barr. I find him quite samey and slightly predictable but Ninia got everyone warmed up which saved the night from going weird. Me and Kez shared some yummy nachos and talked about our impending jaunt to Spain amongst a million other things. It was nice to see Rob again. We couldn’t actually remember the last time we saw each other but decided it was at least a year ago. He was looking very well indeed and was telling us about his pet duck – he emailed us a picture of her, bless him. That’s just the kind of pet I’d expect him to have – there’s not really anything convential about Rob.

When I woke up this morning I couldn’t believe it was already time to get up and it was only the thought of it being Friday that prised me out from under my duvet. I am coming in to work again tomorrow but hopefully only mid-afternoon. I *must* have a lie in after the lack of sleep and Susan-time last weekend. I forgot about that but the whole script nightmare is why I am so bloody tired. I also need to tidy up at home cos it is an absolute state. It’s even getting a bit too untidy for me. Got shedloads to do over the weekend. Have to find Pops tonight to give her back her video camera then straight back home, although I gather we are having a tidying the office party at 5.30pm tonight which involves wine. I shall try to be good and decline and just focus on the tidying. Tomorrow night I am hoping to see Noel at SohoHo and then Kez is coming down for dancing after work at 10ish. Then its off to Bluewater with Suzanne on Sunday and potentially off to the H&C on Sunday to see my favourite group of ex-Footlights. That’s the plan but I daresay it’ll go wrong. I have two interviews to write up too – the Stuart Murphy one being most important.

Last night I successfully had a night out on the old tap waters. We went to the café and there must have been some kind of football match on cos there were literally no more than 18 people in the audience but it is normally packed. The line up advertised was MC Julia Morris, Al Pitcher, Gary Delaney, Andrew Clover and Rob Rouse, but in reality the first two were replaced by MC Drew Barr and Ninia Benjamin. Ninia was really great but I’m just not keen at all on Drew Barr. I find him quite samey and slightly predictable but Ninia got everyone warmed up which saved the night from going weird. Me and Kez shared some yummy nachos and talked about our impending jaunt to Spain amongst a million other things. It was nice to see Rob again. We couldn’t actually remember the last time we saw each other but decided it was at least a year ago. He was looking very well indeed and was telling us about his pet duck – he emailed us a picture of her, bless him. That’s just the kind of pet I’d expect him to have – there’s not really anything convential about Rob.

When I woke up this morning I couldn’t believe it was already time to get up and it was only the thought of it being Friday that prised me out from under my duvet. I am coming in to work again tomorrow but hopefully only mid-afternoon. I *must* have a lie in after the lack of sleep and Susan-time last weekend. I forgot about that but the whole script nightmare is why I am so bloody tired. I also need to tidy up at home cos it is an absolute state. It’s even getting a bit too untidy for me. Got shedloads to do over the weekend. Have to find Pops tonight to give her back her video camera then straight back home, although I gather we are having a tidying the office party at 5.30pm tonight which involves wine. I shall try to be good and decline and just focus on the tidying. Tomorrow night I am hoping to see Noel at SohoHo and then Kez is coming down for dancing after work at 10ish. Then its off to Bluewater with Suzanne on Sunday and potentially off to the H&C on Sunday to see my favourite group of ex-Footlights. That’s the plan but I daresay it’ll go wrong. I have two interviews to write up too – the Stuart Murphy one being most important.

Just back from lunch with the Kerry where we had a bonding and motivational chat and vented all our frustrations over a frapuccino. We’ve decided we’re going on holiday. To Spain. To stay in her parents’ villa which sounds beautiful. I am very excited. And also terrified of flying but it has to be done sooner or later. As such I have just bought a book from Amazon which Kathryn recommended to help my fear of flying. Although I think it’s more of a fear of the unknown quantity that is flying. Or a fear of being in something really really heavy which should not be in the air. It’s all my parents’ fault for not taking me anywhere involving planes when I was younger. So I’ve been checking out prices and I reckon a weekend in November is a goer cos that will give us a chance to save up and will give me a chance to read my book.

We made a list of things to do to cheer ourselves up and enrich our lives. We are going to go to classes at the gym together cos that’s more fun than going alone and looking like fools. And we’re going to go boogying more and also try salsa dancing. Not that we’re pathetic sad cases but we just decided we should go out more and do exciting things. We’re young, free and single. Well, Kerry is young but we are both free and single!

Last night was great. John FD looked fantastic and was in fine form. He bought desert from the posh new place that’s opened on Berwick Street – six individual cakes. They looked so incredible I took a picture on my phone which I’ll post up. They were just delicious but due to my sugar intolerance I began to feel a bit sick after the first mouthful but it would have been rude to turn down such beautiful and expensive deserts. We all sat about talking about men and how a lot of them aren't very nice, and looking forward to the future. John FD has some amazing things lined up which is brilliant cos he is a truly great man. Stupidly agreed to having a glass of wine with Poppy which could have been so easily avoided cos John FD is off the booze. I should have joined him but my willpower let me down yet again. I intend not to drink potentially until next weekend which will be a real achievement if I manage. We’ll see.

Going to the comedy café with Kez tonight which should be fun. She’s calling for me at work and then we’re heading over and I’m shouting her some food. Haven’t been there for ages. I do like the café, especially on a Thursday when it’s a fiver to get in. So tonight will be a no alcohol night at least. Cliff and Sarah are hosting their night on Battersea Barge tonight but I didn’t find out til me and Kez had already booked tickets for the café. Clark is on too so it’s a shame I miss my chance to see two thirds of the eels but everyone from work is going to go next month.

Either my email is broken or nobody loves me anymore.

This morning me and Seb looked up people we know on the BBC Comedy guide. Seb is on it, the git, and I have decided that I’m going be on there one day soon as a hot shot comedy producer. And all there is listed for John FD is Chucklevision and Killing Time, both of which are programmes to be proud of but I’ve seen his CV and not only does it contain more than those two shows, it is bloody incredible. I shall be writing to the BBC to complain… Speaking of the great man, he is hanging by the office at 7pm and we are heading over to Pop’s flat for fine food and conversation. John is providing dessert apparently and as far as I am aware I am just providing myself and songs of joy and tears of laughter of Edinburgh. I was thinking of seeing Jo Neary again tonight cos it was simply one of the top 5 shows from the festival but I’m not sure I can fit it in. From Pops’ I can jump on the Thameslink back to E. Croydon, jump on a bus and I’m home. God I can’t wait to move out of home.

We have a project meeting today so I have brought in milk chocolate hob nobs and tesco’s version of jaffa cakes. And I brought in some cereal for breakfast. Check me out. In fact, I also made my lunch so I had a whole bag of food to bring in today in an effort to cut down on spending. £5 a day on lunch is just too much money.

Myself and Sharon are both being stalked. Well maybe not stalked… harrassed. It started off quite worrying on my part whereas Sharon’s started off quite friendly and then both have degenerated into unwanted texts and emails and now voicemails. Neither of them are bad enough to warrant police intervention (just yet) but happily now we both just find it quite amusing and pathetic. Especially the extremes of mood that come across. You know, who can blame them. As Sharon and I have recently been advised, we are the best looking collection of girls who run a comedy website. Having seen the competition we realise this is some kind of veiled compliment.

I am hoping to see the Kerry soon. She has had some bad news so I am going to cheer her up. I think of her as my little sister and I have decided to make her a star. Not that she needs any help. That girl will go a long way, it's in her genes.

I was at work until 9pm last night... working on this script. Well, I wasn't working on it as such, I was listening and typing and trying to make sense of... I am knackered and got to work at 11.30am today which I think is fair. I didn't have a chance to do any of my stuff yesterday and I do have a fair bit to do before tomorrow. Oh well. At least I can sit at my own desk for a change. We were in the other room where the webcam is and I stupidly pointed this out to Sharon. As such she has made a Just Seventeen style photo story.. *HERE* - go to 13/09. It made me laugh except most of the pictures are the same and you can't really see the bored expression on my bored face. It was fun up until about 4.30pm and then I lost the will to live. Proceedings weren't helped along by the fact that my finger nails are really long at the moment thereby making it hard to type without making a million spelling mistakes, but I'm not cutting them off for anyone. I am a girl. Therefore I must have long and hair and long nails. I believe that's how things work. I am even wearing a skirt.

I have a confession to make. I have recently joined the Rick Astely news list. Please don't judge me. I found out last week that the quiffed wonder is playing at Ronnie Scotts at the end of the month but it's sold out. Gutted. When I was 10 I adored the man. I had pictures of him stuck all over my rough book and his was the first album I bought - on audio cassette. It cost £4.99 and I still have the tape in my car. I would have killed to see him when I was at school but even if I had the chance I probably would have struggled to find anyone to come with me. Anyway, its better that liking Bros. Whose greatest hits I must admit to buying a few months ago. Only for the classics though. I am also still a keen A-ha fan as well you know, and saw them at Wembley a few years ago. I am trapped in a late 80s/early 90s bubble - especially seeings how I've started listening to a lot of The Smiths, The Cure and James again. I like loads of contemporary stuff too but being skint means I can't afford to buy albums and have to make do with what I have in my dated CD collection. But as I said a few days ago, I am planning on buying an ipod very soon and stealing songs for free off the internet or from friends. There is one person I know who has a cracking load of songs on his ipod but I think I need to work on relations there before he lets me borrow it...

Going home after work tonight which will be an absolute joy. I need to sort my room out cos it is a tip - as it was when I randomly threw things in my car and set off for Edinburgh. The tidying up fairy failed to visit my gaff before I got home. And obviously I need to unpack. So much to do, so little motivation. Booked train tickets for my uncle's wedding at the end of October. For some reason I have decided to get the train up on the Thursday morning with my parents. At 9am?! But at least we'll get to Newcastle in time to do something or at least go shopping or something. I am going to ask the lovely Poppy if I might stay at hers on the Wednesday then its just a 1 minute walk across the road to Kings Cross and will give me an extra hour in bed. The tickets are only £20 return to Newcastle. An absolute bargain. I need to plan when to go to Nottingham so I can get an equally as inexpensive ticket for that jaunt.

I am very tired.

Predictaby I am exhausted today. I watched TV in bed til midnight but I stupidly watched Most Haunted Live and despite not believing in ghost it scared me a bit. Well, quite a bit actually. I heard a spirit laugh and by the time they got to the morgue Derek Acora had already been possessed and could smell burning flesh. I tried to reverse the damage I’d done by watching lovely Robert Rouse on Bognor or Bust but I just couldn’t bear to watch the sub-HIGNFY game show. By the time I turned off the TV I was quite hot and terrified and didnt want to take my protective duvet off the bed only to leave me with a flimsy sheet. I am such a twat. I don’t even believe in ghosts but I convinced myself that there might have been one in the house so I turned on the hall light and the bathroom light. That showed them.

So this morning I couldn’t prise myself out of bed, I was so tired from the weekend and lack of lie in. My alarm went off at 7.45am and I managed to leave the comfort of my bed at 8.50am after pressing snooze numerous times. When I left the house it was cold, windy and rainy so I put on my parka but when I got to Charing X it was nice and warm and sunny. So now I am sweltering in the office with a stupid jumper on but I can’t take it off cos I only have a vest top on and that isn’t appropriate work attire. Typical. I am going to Poppy’s for dinner tonight. As I was laying in bed I was telling myself I’d cancel it but if I make it to the end of the day without passing out I’ll go cos I haven’t seen Pops for weeks and she is by far one of my coolest friends. I’ll finish unpacking and sort out my life later on in the week. It’s good to keep busy.

Every day is like sunday...

I'm at work at the moment. I was at work yesterday too. I was in at 2pm to type up a script as it was being said aloud (and written at the same time) but the writer in question lasted about a paragraph and went home exhausted so it was pretty much a wasted and unpaid journey. I stuck around for a bit cos I thought Poppy may have been around later and decided to edit some DV tapes together editing out the boards so I could start making copies to send out next week and then I decided to sit and watch a series of a brilliant programme made back in 99. My boss came over too and we watched the whole 6x 30 min episodes as we were overtaken by nostalgia. I left at about 7pm and wandered to Charing X via a series of shops, buying myself a lovely new pink cord bag (to match my new girlie stuff) along the way. Ended up getting home at about 9 and made myself Toad in the Hole. It was nowhere even close to the one I made in Edinburgh for the mums. Curse Sharon for taping over my one and only culinary success. Bit more practice maybe. I think the container I used was a bit too small. Went to bed and got up early and got to work at 11.30 this morning. It's nw gone 5.30pm and we've done a fair amount and I am hoping to go home soon. It's all very well having a job I love, and I don't mind coming in at the weekend and experiencing first hand how a comedy script is developed but I need a lie in! I'll have done 12 days straight by the time my next day off comes around. And I presume this is all unpaid. I did get a jacket potato with Mexican tuna from my boss for lunch yesterday though.

I haven't had a chance to fully unpack yet and I really need to do some washing so I have something to wear to work tomorrow. I feel like I haven't had a weekend. Which I haven't! I was supposed to be meeting Suz today but I've had to postpone that til next friday.

So I don't have anything of interest to tell you. My night out with Sally on Friday was great. As far as the old sauce is concerned I fell at the first hurdle. We got to Clapham Jcn at 7.30pm and wandered straight round to The Banana Leaf (which is highly recommended) and when we were asked what we wanted to drink we got a bottle of wine. Damn. Foiled again. I will blame this on Sally cos she stated her preference for wine before I did. I am so weak. Realistically going to try only to drink twice during this week. And once at the weekend. I haven't yet decided if Friday counts as weekday or not... I am seeing Pops and John FD on wednesday so I presume that is going to be very alcoholic. JFDN starts directing the new series of the Frank Skinner show on Thursday - how bloody exciting is that. He so deserves it. I can't believe I'm pals with him, his CV is incredible. He directed "Rock The Blind" for god's sake, which is one of the most brilliantly funny comedy programmes ever aired on television. Anyway, I digress.

Going to check train times now and hope I don't have to wait around forever for the uber-efficient one every hour service that Connex seem to apply to the Hayes line on a Sunday. Bastards.

That joke isn't funny anymore...

WOOOOOHOOOOO!!! I got tickets to see Morrissey in December. Albeit at bloody Earls Court, but it’s going to be great. The tickets are £35 which is slightly ridiculous and for that price I would at least expect him to sing Suedehead and Hairdresser On Fire and be on stage for almost as long as Mark Watson. In fact, mathematically, if Mark did 24 hours for a mere £3 then Morrissey should really do a solid 11 and a half days. That’d be value for money. I bought two standing tickets and also two seating tickets which are quite good ones. I anticipate it being full of tall men so it might be nice to be on a tier so I can actually see.

Met up with Kerry, Helena, Mark and Belinda last night and went for a yummy chinese in China Town then me and H went on for a drink and bumped into the very lovely Alex Zane (who still owes me fifty quid) who was sitting with Joe Cornish, Simon Pegg, Lucy Davis, Edgar Wright and probably some other cool people too. I am very annoyed at myself cos when we all initially met up in All Bar One I had a white wine spritzer but then I drank water with the meal and then me and H went on to non-alcoholic cocktails – much to Alex’s annoyance when he worked out why he was the only one who seemed to be getting drunk. So I could have done a whole night out without any booze at all. Still, its progress. I am going out in Clapham tonight with the lovely Sally so I will try again then. I should be able to manage it. I am really looking forward to seeing her but equally to my lie in tomorrow morning cos I am totally knackered. Need sleep, must sleep. Ah.

I recently went to see a homeopath for reasons you need not be aware of. It made me realise how much I hate talking about myself and how little I actually think about my moods and what really makes me tick. I think maybe I need to go to Thailand to find myself. I was with her for about 75 minutes and she was asking such bizarre questions like what weather I like, what makes me angry, what don’t I like about life, how I make decisions and what I was like as a child. As far as I could see this didn’t have a huge amount to do with my ailment but I am willing to give alternative therapy a go rather than continually pump chemicals around my body. When I made another appointment for when my remedies run out she gave me her card and I wasn’t the least bit surprised to find out that she is a counsellor as well as a homeopath. I did feel like I was being grilled and analysed, especially when I was talking about how much my mum riles me.

She’s given me some little white tablets which are supposed to cleanse your blood (don’t worry I don’t have septicemia or AIDS or anything to do with my blood as far as I’m aware) and also some more little white tablets which do something else and are apparently different from the other little white tablets. I handed over my £50 and am presuming that the little white tablets will weave their magic and aren’t just little white blocks of nothing. I’m not allowed to drink coffee, have peppermint in anything including toothpaste, can’t wash my face with tea tree oil products and can’t use cold/flu rememdies including lozenges, so my throat is going to be buggered for a while longer. Apparently these can all act as antidotes which makes it sound like I’ve been subscribed venom. Thankfully I haven’t been banned from drinking but I will continue not to drink too much.

Feeling a bit naff today. Still not sleeping properly. I did have close to a bottle of wine last night when I met up with Lynds. It was really nice seeing her again after about 6 months. I had literally just started my new job back at the end of March when I dragged her to Club Fantastico at the Albany to see Oram & Meeten. She looked really great and made me feel even more run down and ropey as we sat in the Soho Theatre bar. We started off on white wine spritzers and then moved onto Zebrano where I got in a bottle of wine. There was talk of a certain young man coming back to London from Bath for some dancing action but it never quite materialised. Just as well really what with it being a Wednesday night…

My mood is currently fluctuating between…

Thorn in my side.
You know that's all you ever were.
A bundle of lies.
You know that's all that it was worth...
I should have known better
But I trusted you at first.
I should have known better
But I got what I deserved...

And this…

Darling believe, you’re closer than anyone
Has ever been
Oh baby don’t leave me alone
I’m yours for eternity
You hold the seven keys to my soul

Which I admit are extreme examples of how I actually feel but you sometimes can’t help but listen to songs and think that they’ve been written with you in mind… I am an idiot. Beginning to think my mindless optimism trait might have to go, it keeps getting me into trouble.

Back to life...

I give up. BT Connect seems to be down and we can’t send or receive emails, it’s totally frustrating. Oh well. Since becoming a fully fledged girl (fashion-wise) and wearing skirts almost more often than jeans, it has cost me an absolute bloody fortune in hold-ups. They are £6 a throw and I manage to ruin at least five pairs a month. Such is the price of being girly. It’s just too hot in the office to wear jeans all the time. I’ve already taken to cutting the sleeves and necks from t-shirts and wearing them as vest tops. They look better that way too.

It’s so nice to be home after the festival. And it’s the first time in years that I’ve had a job to come back to as opposed to having no job or cash until the end of October and it is certainly the first time I’ve had a job I love to come back to. And I’m made to talk about the whole thing. What a drag! These first three days have been fun and its so nice to be back with the team. I am all excited about my job again. There is someone in our office this week who my mum absolutely loves and she keeps badgering me to get his autograph. Alas I am having to be ruthless in order to maintain dignity and street cred and I have advised her that I will be doing no such thing. It is fun working somewhere where funny people come in on a daily basis.

I still have a residual cough from the end of the festival that is keeping me awake all night. On Sunday night I couldn’t sleep cos the temperature in my room reached tropical levels, on Monday night I kept myself awake coughing and spluttering and last night I woke up three times wandered to the bathroom and almost had a heart attack when there was someone already in there. I am meeting my friend Lyndsay tonight and am hoping to keep my promise to myself by drinking lime and soda and not letting a drop of alcohol touch my lips. I will try my best to stick to it… going out with the Kerry, Mark F and Helena tomorrow and Kez will definitely be on tap water so that should increase my chances of staying on the wagon. Unless John FD comes along and makes us all drink wine.

So my new goal is to move out of home before I hit 30. A feat which I hope to achieve either in late 2004 or early 2005. Much to my parents’ dismay. I anticipate tantrums and tears when I finally fly the nest. They were both worryingly pleased to see me when I got back last week and I’d only been away for a month. I made sure not to give my mum the flat number so I could screen the number of calls she made to me. She used to call me numerous times a day when I was at university – literally every time she thought of something to ask me. These days she pops into my room approximately 30 times a night, which is why I try to go out as often as possible.

I have also decided to treat myself to an ipod. My brother has a laptop and we are swarmed with macs at work and I can’t always fit a discman or walkman in my bag so I am going to take the leap and get me one. I have £150 of points on my Boots card but I don’t think they sell them so I am going to see if my mum will buy the points from me and then I’ll ony have to save another £150 or put it on my credit card (which is more likely). Then maybe I can put the CDs I only bought for the sake of a few songs onto it and sell them second hand… always thinking me…

I like this picture. It shows how tired we were. It stars myself, Sharon, Robin Ince and one of the IAFS street team. I stole it from the IAFS site. It was taken on one of the last nights of the festival in the world famous Brookes bar. I can barely muster up a smile while Sharon has gone for a grimace. I imagine anyone reading this stupid jumble of words probably knows me but I feel I should point out that it's me gurning on the right with empty shells of eyes.